You have a wonderful way of compressing the complete environment in any scene in your story and trapping it beautifully in the words of your narration.
As one reads the words, the compressed scene expands again, sets itself free, to create a complete image.
The story leaves you in a lurch, with an uneasy feeling of helplessness as you do not come to know the problem the girl was facing and so on.
But then in real life too, stories do not always have a happy end, nor are they always complete. This is why the story leaves you with a sense of déjà vu.
I feel the intensity of your emotions in this poem, I liked some lines very much, especially when you say
" But as I turn back the time..."
which sounds so beautiful in comparison to
"But as I remember..".
It is a beautiful poem. You definitely have a great potential,. Having said that I will advise you to brush up this poem and make it more polished to make your feelings more clearly understood. It will make it still more beautiful.
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