I love this, it has great detail and i love the tone it gives. The second stanza was the beat to me and gave me a real idea of where you were coming from. I feel you could have kept going with this and the few destriptive words mad it stand out more.
I feel like your talking to God, I really enjoyed reading this. It's like your saying people don't just talk to God but only when they need him most, not just to talk to their father. People blame God when it's their own fault. This is really good and you should deffiently keep going with it.
This was really good, and i loved the desribtive words on how you desribed things. my favorite line "a peaceful place where I could unwind my weary mind." I feel people can relate to this because it happends to everyone, like peopple try to focus on things and relax and end up falling asleep. I uderstand what you ment by looking at the messages. I got a little confused in the middle but I reread and began to understand.
I didn't understand the unsavory banana-q??
This was very creative and i really liked it, it made you think. It made the reader go back and actually understand it. I loved the (push1/prevent2) and how the first tim i read it I didnt get it but you get down to the bottom and it tells you, its kinda like a twist in a way.
I really enjoyed this poem, it kept my entrest. Everyone knows everything about you and you cant hide it. I loved the part Out flows all the things I tried not to make known Out comes the pain that I’ve suppressed And all the things I’ve tried to forget. The only thing is i felt that everyting shouldn't have been capitalized and you should have had periods, but other than that is was great to me.
I love how it's questioning the reader about what do you do. I think there should have been a comma between young girl and A while ago. I like the mistery in the story and how its deep. It's very interesting to me, like i got hooked in the begaining.
I liked the way you used intuition and vacant. I feel like there should be a comma between her&And, because you cant start a sentence with And. I love the twist with the marriage and virginity.
I feel like the person never knew what they were going to do in life but they met someone else and they showed them a new world. i like this poem but in the beginning i felt like it was really repetitive. The person never knew how he or she felt because they never told them and now they dont have that person and if they knew how he or she felt then they might not feel so alone.
I think it had a lot of meanings, i felt like it wasn't about a real bird. i thought it was about another girl who did like she was sapost to and not ever step out of line. she wants to be like evryong else and to do as she pleases.
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