\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/newpen
Review Requests: OFF
3 Public Reviews Given
14 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by mlj Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
I liked your story about a Dad and his girl. I am here to tell you a Dad can be proud of his sons;however, he can be just as proud of daughters as well. I would make several sugestions about grammer. Some sentences seemed a little short, could these sentences be joined to make the story flow better? Also several sentences seemed a little long, could they be revised or made into two sentences? I noticed you used the word ..but.. several times, could another word be used to connect thoughts in a sentence? Consider what I wrote, and keep on writing
2
2
Review by mlj Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Tyson
Your essay is on such a fascinating topic. The Hebrews and the Greeks contributed so much to western civilization and culture. The Hebrews with the idea of one God; writing and preserving the bible that we have today. Greece was the birthplace of democracy. The amazing thing is the bible is still with us today also many Greek stories. The Iliad, the Odyssey, the Histories, and the Republic, this is a very well written essay comparing and contrasting the two. The grammar is also excellent.
Keep up the good writing
mjl
2 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/newpen