This story seemed to me to be quite vivid in its bleakness and imaginativeness. I felt like I could see the destroyed world from the point of view of the main character. The fact that that person was a zombie makes it even more bleak and imaginative. I liked the way it was short and to the point. Good job.
I enjoyed this work. It reminded me of the author Neil Gaiman's work; mythological, lighthearted, imaginative, and entertaining.
If I were you, I would write dialogue sentences more this way: "What of it?" repeated Thor. Rather than "What of it?" Repeated Thor.
I liked the ending a lot. Thank you for sharing this.
I think that this story was an ambitious project. I found the story somewhat exciting. I liked the use of period gangster slang. I thought that it should probably be edited more to fix some of the grammar and word usages. There are mistakes such as this typo:
Hopefully, for everyone else sake, the meeting would go as he planned.
It should read "for everyone else's sake." Something else that looks like a mistake is this sentence:
Here is another sentence from your work:
He couldn't believe that he'd finally did it.
It should probably read "He couldn't believe that he'd finally done it." There were a lot of what seemed like errors similar to that I think. Still, the story was entertaining and easy to read. Thanks for sharing it.
This type of story - a Microfiction as you call it - is very interesting, and it was nice to see a good example of it. It's interesting to see the value of a work that is very short. You demonstrated that it can be exciting and attractive.
I think this was a well executed story, told in an engaging way. I liked the way that the relationships of the three friends were illustrated. I am impressed that you went through the trouble of attaching a very interesting illustration to go along with the work. There was certainly a lot of horror in this work. I guess in the horror genre that is an accomplishment. Good job writing this creative work.
I like this story. My favorite part was the attractive descriptive language and metaphors. Something about this story struck me as distinctly feminine. I guess it was the focus on emotions. I like the opening sentence because it is very unusual and interesting.
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