*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/naina
Review Requests: OFF
1 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Naina
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello,
Overall I think you did a good job with this journal. I have really enjoyed reading it, and am looking foward to reading the next part. I didn't see any spelling, or grammatical errors in it, good job on that part! Thanks for sharing with us! I tried to comment below at least a little on each part!

February 26, 1999

I like how in this segment, you are using the castle/invasion idea to help paint the picture. I think that it really adds a whimsical side to a story, that could have been plain.

July 14, 1999
The first sentence in this part, confused me just for a second...Okay for a few seconds.. I thought at first that you were changing to Fred's point of view and he scratched the screen, Then I looked again, and I thought well maybe it is a title of sorts to the events that are about to take place. But in the end, I am going with and hoping I am right, that you had to get rid of that screen, so "Scratched" would mean got rid of..:) I agree with you on how valuable duct tape, it is really under rated for the uses it actaully has.

September 10, 1999

How dare you put cover the floor with fun toys and then pick them up.. I really enjoy this part of the journal, because I can imagine the smug look Fred had on his face..

September 23, 1999
I think I got a few grey hairs with you from reading this, and possibly Fred from the yelling. I liked the way you told this story. You kept a little of the suspense of what was happening, though the reader has a feeling lovable little Fred is involved, but managed to keep humor in it, with your naming the mop.

October 18, 1999
All I could do was giggle at this one..Next time you should think about buying two pieces of cake..

December 31, 1999

Awww little Fred has a bit of jealousy to him..

Thanks again for sharing with us.

1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/naina