It was funny and I did enjoy reading it. However, I think it would have greatly benefitted from better formating. For instance, seperating this into three or four paragraphs would make this a million times easier to read. As well, many of your sentences are running...
"Yatya was slowly walking along a road lined with shlongs, feeling the wind in her hair when from no when she heard a bone crackling screech of terror, Yatya shuddered and started running in the direction of the scream, little did she know that she had ran straight into Dame Red Riding Hood’s forest, she was named so by the Queen AAronetta him. . . . I mean herself, and then given a forest."
It is a bit too long to keep attention.
Overall, I think you did a good job, though what mainly braught you down was the formating. A single revision can fix this, though!
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