Cool little poem. Broken heart. Somes once its broken it does become new again. I enjoyed this poem. It walks nicely and very clear in what is being said. I feel this is like the last straw in a relationship. Love is gone, lets heal and move on. Good job. I enjoyed the journey. Keep on writing.
Oh the sweet love. I feel this is to someone you love. I can feel the emotion, and the care. You have painted an excellent picture of love in words. It flowed nicely and was very clear with the content. Thank you for the journey. Reminds me of young love. Keep writing. May your days be filled with creativity.
Ok so you know me. Sounds exactly as I feel. At 69 I see so much behind me. Good content, very honest and appealing. The rhyming was good, had very good flow with it. Painted a picture and thought you were speaking of me. Thanks for the journey. I really enjoyed reading this. Keep on writing.
Good story, I loved it!! The pictures you paint with the words are so enthralling I just bust out laughing. Wife thinks I'm nuts. I think you captured the spirit of the contest. Very good use of the required words. I could see the whole thing. I didn't see anything that stood out technically and the content was aces! Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest!
Good story. Revenge sneaking in. Loved the twist of a girl doing it. Little clues had me thinking something like that. "Their elbow" sort of a clue it wasn't who we would think it was. Good story. It reads very smooth and clear description. I loved the journey and surprise. Works well with this story. Thank you for the journey, keep on writing. May your days be filled with creativity.
Cool little free verse. We step through the months and seasons sometimes without noticing things we should. How fast it goes sometimes. We blink and the time is gone. Back to january and it laughs at us. The content was excellent, and very easy to follow. I loved the picture it painted. Thank you for the journey. Keep writing. May your days be filled with creativity.
You say what you want, and then realize this is redundant. The way things are, our hearts seem to decide what we get or really want. At least thats what I'm reading. I see this could be an emotional burst that everything bubbles to the top. Good Job my friend. I enjoyed reviewing this. Hope things are going well.
Keep on writing.
Such a powerful emotional free verse poem. Thank you for opening your world to the paper. I see and feel pain and hopelessness. I know those feeling, hidden behind a mask. Good job on the poem, very easy to read and understand. Content a bit down, and very easy to see it spiral. Thank you for sharing. Hope there is hope now.
Such a cute little poem. So full of power and emotion. Can see you setting on a lawn chair with pencil and paper, looking over your back yard and feeling the warm sunshine. Fuels your imagination. Thank you for sharing that picture and emotion. I enjoyed reading this. Keep writing.
Such a cute story. I love these, family groups and what comes of them sometimes. I, as your friend, did not know of Holy Cow. I had heard it be just took it as words of surprise. Apparently, the first born of a cow or other beast according to scriptures is Holy. The content was excellent and the writing was clear, and easy to follow. Thank you for the picture, and where Holy Cow came from. Keep writing.
Great Acrostic. I loved it. It flowed nicely and no 'hiccups'. I feel you describing Gods love in a few different ways. Very encouraging, trying to get everyday better that the last. I enjoyed this and the picture it drew. Very good job. Thank you for the journey. May your days be filled with creativity.
Oh to be as a wolf. How cool would that be. I can see a friend of the wolf. I feel the love for the animal and its ways. We all find a closeness to animals, I am feeling that the wolf may have been injured. But the loneliness of the wolf, reflects how we feel at time. Beautiful poem. I loved. Was a little hard to discern but that's on me. I haven't had coffee yet. Thank you for the journey.
Such a wonderful intriguing story. I loved it. I was worried about not knowing about water polo, but that was easy part. I could picture him strutting into the gym and setting down on the bench. His hair collecting views and comments from everyone. I loved the content, story very well told. Technically I see nothing wrong. Nice big font and easy to read. If I were to do anything it would be to break out the dialog so each piece be on its own line. Much easier to follow that way. Keep on writing. And thank you for the journey.
Very neat little poem. Straight to the point. Sun setting as ending to many things in life. Been there many, many times. Nice free verse, very easy to follow and understand quite clearly. Try an opposite with Sunrise being beginnings. Good job. I enjoyed reading this and the journey it takes you on. Keep writing.
Neat little essay. Could make that a free verse even. Good content, I often wondered what those last few moments maybe like. I only pray I am asleep when it actually occurs. There is always reason to question how we have used our life. To many it probably is never enough. Thank you for showing me a bit of your soul. Interesting thoughts. I enjoyed the journey. Keep writing.
Such a wonderful powerful poem. I must admit I had to look up a few words. I feel you seeking, and looking for spring coming. Spring as a new existence, a fresh look and new thoughts. Thats the impression I was getting. Technically it flowed nicely. The content was very descriptive and easy to see. Thank you for the journey, it was wonderful. Keep writing.
Such a wonderful letter. You do a lot for us, and I personally appreciate all. You are inspiring. Reading this I had to laugh a little, I could picture you setting there typing away, talking to a little person on your shoulder, trying to point out the bad stuff. And on the other shoulder a little person whispering how good your doing in your other ear. Fantastic. I love it. You have done a good job. Loved the letter. Good luck and keep writing!
Good job paraphrasing. Macbeth is not an easy one for paraphrasing. You did an excellent job making a poem of it. Stretching out from a comfort zone is always a learning experience. Good job. It reads well, and the flow is good. I enjoyed the journey. Thank you. Keep on writing.
OMG, this little jewel had me laughing I almost woke up the wife. One side of a conversation to remove bats from attic. The description with noise and their machines using your electricity. This was awesome. I could find no real issues with it. The content kept me laughing. Gas the bats? So cool. Thank you for sharing. Keep on writing.
I have been seeing this often lately. Such a good start to a story. Then it stops. Please continue. This has great potential and such a good starting point. Technically it is all sound. The content is ripe for exploration. I enjoyed those 5 paragraphs, left me hanging for more. Keep on writing.
Nice free verse poem. Flowed nicely and very easy to follow and understand. The content was interesting. Death comes to us all sooner or later. Hope is all we have to continue sometimes. Sometimes we do grow cold with life, don't feel anything for it. Those days is when our hope kicks in. Good job. Nicely written and no issues jump out. Thank you for the journey. Keep on writing.
Maybe I'm to old but I really don't totally understand this. But I will try. I take its two young dragons and discussing coming of age. I like the descriptions and the premise if thats what you were trying for. I would break it up with the dialog being seperate lines which makes it stand out and easier to read and follow. But keep writing, getting it down first then take suggestions and rework it. Keep on writing, its growing. Just like Stormfly.
Good story premise. I enjoyed following it. And it has very good potential. There are a few places where you should proof read it again. But overall a very good start to an interesting short story. Good on you! Stepping out of our comfort zone is part of getting better. Thank you for the journey, I enjoyed it. Keep on writing.
Great poem. Easy to follow, and flow was nice and even. Not sure about plan and planed.. think it should be planned. But all else is wonderful. I can see how storms affected you. And looking up knowing He has all control it still worries us sometimes. Its human nature. I love the poem and read your bio as well. Impressive. Thank you for sharing, I enjoyed the journey.
You learn alot reading a persons writings. This was very well written. I enjoyed reading it and it was easy to follow. I see one that gets ready to paint but there mind isn't ready yet. It still has to give the tree some life, so the painter uses her life. Interesting point of view. I enjoyed the journey and seem to know and understand a tiny bit more of you. Keep on writing.
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