This story was really amazing! Great buildup, great ending. I was wondering the whole time just what James was capable of, and now I know. What a sad ending to a life. No edits that I could see. Write on!
I really loved this story. It was sweet, and it really brought back some memories from childhood: those summers you thought would never end, the friends you said you'd never forget... Really touching, especially with the undercurrent of her father's sickness. The only things I noticed were a few repetitive words [I kept noticing the word 'just'] and a couple of missed commas. Overall great job. Write on!
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mumbojumbo
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 6:04am on Nov 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
