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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mr.rekon
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20 Public Reviews Given
20 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of My Monopoly Hat  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like you sentiment. However, it's too long. You can express your feelings much more succintly. Do it. Try it?
2
2
Review of Snowing Snowing  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (2.0)
I want to like what you've written. It sounds more like something on a christmas card, not in a book of poetry.
3
3
Review of Jack.  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
I like where you're going with this. Keep the nursery rhyme nonsense out. You can imply that without saying it.
4
4
Review of Love Eternal  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (1.0)
Oh god... the title alone kills this before it starts. The color scheme drives the wooden stake through my forlorn heart. Don't try to jazz your words up with gimmicks. It doesn't help anyone.
5
5
Review of Searching  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (2.0)
aren't we all? The title's no good. The content is universal. Show me don't tell me.
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Review of Weak  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
I like the overall tone and message. There's sometnhing eternal about what you're trying to say. Your straignt-forward style is effective. However, it won't get you anywhere. Not in serious poetry circles. Confessional is good. Obvious lacks imagination. Give it some spice. Make it less obvious. Give examples and don't explain them. Let your reader figure it out.
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7
Rated: E | (1.0)
Ugh.. I didn't get past the first two lines. A cliche in the first. An inappropriate abbreviation in the second.
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8
Review of The Wall  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like it. If there was more to it, it would have gotten a five. Good work. The fewer words the better.
9
9
Rated: E | (1.0)
Is there a typo in your first sentence? I can't get past that. You have no credibility if you err. so early.
10
10
Review of Finally Free  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
I like how you juxtapose fantasy and religion.You've done a good job of giving both weight without leaning toward one or the other. I question the title. How can you make it less fantastic and more real? Readers need reality. Details. Something they can relate to. I do like the complexity of your language. You're not far.
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11
Review of One by One  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
You almost had me. What goes by? I need more details. Even if they're undefined.
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12
Rated: E | (2.0)
Ugh...reading this kind of poem is tiresome. I didn't get past the second line. You can say the same thing without being so heavy-handed.
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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/mr.rekon