I really like this, only thing that I would have done different was make it longer. And put some more detail around the ending. Overall. It is GREAT! Good job!
I absolutely love this! The twist? AMAZING! Words cannot describe the emotion and thoughts in my head right now. I love that everyone can relate you it too.
This is really good. I love the twist of the story. I actually tried to write one like this but it was really bad. But this one is really good. Good Job!
Wow. This is good. It's funny and really makes you feel like your there. Watching. I thought that the old man was going to make the kids eat bugs or something but I didn't expect that. This is really good.
I can see where your coming from and you can tell that you love it but I think that it could have been a lot better written. Needs better imagery and word choice.
I absolutely love this poem. This is my absolute favorite poem. I can relate to this and this is just.. Pure. And sweet. Love the word choice and you should write more like this!
I really love this. It's amazing. I can relate to this on many different levels. I love how it goes from being two little kids to old adults. I love the way you can sense the love that the others have for each other. It's really great. And you should write more like this.
Everyone is wriring about this stuff! Why? I love it but it is getting to be a bit annoying seeing them every freaking where! Other than that I love the imagery and the word choice.
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