Hello, I liked your peom very much , you are obviously a very optimistic person like myself , the only piece i might change is the fifth part, I would suggest
Althought the path is set ahead
You might prefer to stray instead,
I am new to this myself and have only recently started reviewing so you may not agree.
Well done.
Freda
A very nice little story that bought back lots of memories of growing up in the sixties, left me wondering if you were ever allowed to go to a concert again. I was never allowed to go to any so really missed out.
I started to do this once and it disappeared so forgive me if i am repeating myself, i really enjoyed this poem although it was very sad, it really described well the feeling of loss , the only bit I didn't really understand was "no lungful of air, does not bring me pain" I am new to this so apologies if it is me, it may be how i read it. Good luck with the writing anyway, keep at it.
I liked this poem very much, as I woman I think we expect men to know what we are feeling without us putting it into words and often we say the opposite of what we really feeling to see if you react how we would like you too. It must be very hard being a man, your poem shows how understanding you are trying to be. Well done
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.12 seconds at 10:30pm on Nov 04, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
