I've really enjoyed reading your short little some what bedtime rhyme. It reads just like a child's bedtime story book, I can almost see the colorful little illustrations that would go along with the story. Pretty awesome stuff!!
Interesting angle you've got going here. It flows pretty well but I feel the message is unclear. However I feel you have a talent for poetry I certainly lack. I really like the last line of the piece though, ""must every stolen egg be blamed on one cunning little serpent?"". Bravo. Pretty good work here.
Pretty good not a bad story. It was told like a legend and ended like an epic. Awesome work. There were a few grammatical errors and punctuation mishaps but the story structure was spot on. The story Idea was somewhat original as well. Good stuff!!!
Yes, I can agree with this one, spring has been long awaited. I like the way the poem spells out "Finally Spring". It's short and to the point I've found that some poetry is a bit too wordy and can seem as though the writer is just rambling on. Really cool stuff!
You have a very promising piece at work here, you seem to have it all figured out. I'm very interested in the story and look forward to reading it once it materializes. Keep it up and good luck.
I agree on the main idea of this essay, the more powerful your enemies the more powerful your thoughts. I'm not to sure about the example used to prove your point however. But take it with a grain of salt, I know little to nothing about Jesus Christ or the Bible for that matter. I was raised Pagan. None the less I think you made a powerful point and will cherish the lesson learned here for ages to come. You are wise.
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