I liked the story, And I liked the ideas around the first chapter of your story. My concerns are less about the content, as much as the presentation. I got lost in some of your descriptions, and some of the others could have used more imput. What does The Hall look like? What does the president look like? How many people are there? What does Anima look like?
I did like how you Juliet used old world phrases in an unfamiliar way. Remembering definitions and such. I want to know what happens with the story, And I have a similar desire to know more details about the world and characters. In the process of a story of this magnitude you can create it as diverse as you please. You should really tap into that. Can't wait to read the next chapter.
I love this. I read a lot of depressing things. And this is the first time I've read anything about the night time that brought a positive reflection of the night sky. The idea of angels whizzing overhead, just out of sight, makes my evening a little bit brighter. Thank you for posting your mother's poetry.
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