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Review of Zephyr Cove  Open in new Window.
Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and Salutations, Duchess! I am but a humble reviewer from the Paper Dolls Gang, here to give you my opinions, encouragement, and suggestions... nothing more, nothing less. I genuinely hope that you will find something useful within this review and if nothing else, at least walk away knowing that someone has enjoyed your writing.

*NoteV**NoteB**NoteV**NoteB**NoteV*


*CheckB*What I Enjoyed
I enjoyed just about everything in this story! The characters are not only believable, they're relatable as well! I also like the title of the story... it fits perfectly and it's original. The whole story had an air of whimsy to it, almost childlike, and I loved that! Also, I loved the twist at the end where the reader finds out that Andrea's actually an elf herself! I thought that was very creative! Lastly, since an assignment I had for a class here on WDC, I'm always on the look out for overused -ly adverbs and you only have one or two! So great job! That is a sign of a talented writer!!


*CheckV*Suggestions:
I only have a couple! First, I think when you're writing sensory details, like the "sound of hammer striking...", the phrase "show don't tell" comes into play. Instead of announcing the sense, sound in this instance, you should write something like, "The loud clank of hammer striking metal..." that way you're allowing the reader to experience the sense for him or herself. Lastly, I think you overused the word, "but" in the first paragraph )3 times in 5 sentences). My suggestion for that is to remove them altogether and write, for instance, "So far, however, all she had seen were...".


*CheckB*Spelling & Grammar:
I didn't find a single mistake! *Thumbsup*


*CheckV*Overall Impression:
Overall, I thought this was a well-written piece of fiction genius! I LOVED IT! It was creative, original, and you were able to keep me reading from beginning to end! Excellent job, Duchess! Write on....



UniquelyMe *Peace*

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France


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Review of My Battle Cry.  Open in new Window.
Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Greetings and Salutations, Iris! I am but a humble reviewer from the Paper Dolls Gang, here to give you my opinions, encouragement, and suggestions... nothing more, nothing less. I genuinely hope that you will find something useful within this review and if nothing else, at least walk away knowing that someone has enjoyed your writing.

*NoteV**NoteB**NoteV**NoteB**NoteV*


*CheckB*What I Enjoyed
I like the theme of the poem One of my favorite lines was the 5th down from the top. It's got an almost rhythmic beat to it and I like how it rhymes with the previous line. I enjoyed reading the poem but I do have some suggestions for it.


*CheckV*Suggestions:
I think "...Because I want to get what I dont know," would make more sense if it said, "because I don't know what I want to get!". Another suggestion is for the very last line of the poem, "...what will become of me, until the day that I will die?". This line seems awkward to me and the question mark at the end confuses me. Maybe I'm missing something but it might sound less awkward if it said something like, "I am woman and will be strong, until the day I die!" That is totally just a suggestion, as is everything else I just mentioned. There are a couple lines that seem a bit too long for the poem and they are: the 4th and 8th line up from the bottom. Maybe try to shorten them because that's what seems off to me... the length of them. I also thought that you could've tried to use more emotion-evoking words in the piece. For example, the line, "my thoughts are jumbled, my words are slurred." are two very common statements and to try and think of something more original would only improve the quality of the poem.


*CheckB*Spelling & Grammar:
Only one... You forgot to add the word "for" or "over" at the end of line #9. Other than that, good job! *Thumbsup*


*CheckV*Overall Impression:
My overall impression was good but I guess I had a little trouble understanding the theme or idea behind the poem. I get the, "I am woman, hear me roar" thing but the question mark at the end kind of threw me. Is the question mark there because you don't know if you're a confident, hear-me-roar type of woman? Anyway, I do like your writing style and hope you keep up the great work. Write on, Iris!



UniquelyMe *Peace*

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France


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Review of A Voice Outside  Open in new Window.
Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*NoteV*Greetings and Salutations, Lindsay! I am but a humble reviewer from the Paper Dolls Gang, here to give you my opinions, encouragement, and suggestions... nothing more, nothing less. I genuinely hope that you will find something useful within this review and if nothing else, at least walk away knowing that someone has enjoyed your writing.*NoteO*



*CheckG*What I Enjoyed
First of all, I really liked the plot of the story. It's original and creative and it hasn't been done a million times before. Someone sees a crime and decides to watch instead of help. The main character in the story is relatable even though he does something unspeakable. One of my favorite lines in the piece is, "...trading salt and crumbs for sweat and oil". because it produced a detailed image in my mind. And you did a great job creating skilled imagery in your story. Another example of great imagery in your story is the way you described the "hollow twang of a lampost". That was perfect! *Smile*


*CheckB*Suggestions:
The phrase "warm glow" is used twice and then the word "glow" alone is used two more times in your descriptions. I think when you repeat words as your describing things in a very short story like this, it detracts from the quality of the piece. Try to think of another way to describe the computer screen instead of saying, "warm glow" again. Another suggestion I have is to try remove some of your adverbs like, "literally", "fully", "utterly", "suddenly", "probably", and other words like that. Doing this forces you to use more concrete verbs and nouns which therefore creates a more concrete image and doesn't sound so amateur.


*CheckV*Spelling & Grammar:
I think this is the only error in the entire piece: "...will leave alone for a while" should be "...will leave him alone for a while".


*CheckR*Overall Impression:
My overall impression was a positive one. I thought it was well-written and I liked it a lot. So, great job and WRITE ON!! *Wink*


UniquelyMe *Peace*

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France


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Review of Fairies Dancing  Open in new Window.
Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*NoteV*Greetings and Salutations, Millie! I am but a humble reviewer from the Paper Dolls Gang, here to give you my opinions, encouragement, and suggestions... nothing more, nothing less. I genuinely hope that you will find something useful within this review and if nothing else, at least walk away knowing that someone has enjoyed your writing.*NoteO*



*CheckG*What I Enjoyed
First of all, I love fairies so the title hooked me right away. I also loved the flow of the poem. Even though it didn't rhyme, it had such a rhythmic flow to it that was very natural and organic. Much like fairies are and that is a cool correlation. I liked the characters, the two best friends, because I can relate to their friendship. And I think my favorite thing about this poem was that it has such an air of innocence about it, which made me feel like I was a child again. The part where wrote that the garden was actually a "magical forest" was the perfect thing to add to the poem to make more childlike and innocent.


*CheckB*Suggestions:
In the fourth line down, I was thinking maybe you could come up with a more creative way to say the girls hair "glistened" in the sun. Like, for instance, maybe a metaphor or simile: "Our golden hair shimmered like a million little diamonds in the afternoon sun". And I think the line "Tiny little fairies, dancing around." could use the same kind of treatment. Like maybe, "Teeny-tiny fairies, prancing & frolicking!" Doing this creates a more emotional, intense response from your readers. It also creates much better imagery for your readers. The only other suggestion I have would be for the very last line of the piece. Maybe it's just me, but "the real darn thing" produces a whole different vibe from the rest of the poem and just doesn't seem to fit in the piece. It just sounds a little awkward for me, but like I said, these are just suggestions! *Wink*


*CheckV*Spelling & Grammar:
I didn't find any spelling or grammar mistakes in your poem.


*CheckR*Overall Impression:
Great job, overall! Like I said above, I love fairies so you had me at the title. But in terms of quality, this is a well-written free form poem that I enjoyed reading. *Cool*


UniquelyMe *Peace*

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France


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Review of Morning Coffee  Open in new Window.
Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*NoteV*Greetings and Salutations, Lady Atlas! I am but a humble reviewer from the Paper Dolls Gang, here to give you my opinions, encouragement, and suggestions... nothing more, nothing less. I genuinely hope that you will find something useful within this review and if nothing else, at least walk away knowing that someone has enjoyed your writing.*NoteO*



*CheckG*Strengths
I love the second line down, where you described the steam as "tiny fists" that beat the air. That put such a cool image in my mind. And imagery is one of the most important elements in creating a well-written poem.
I also liked the little bit alliteration used in the ninth line down. The last line evoked emotion, invoking a lonely woman whose husband is no longer the man her used to be, and neither is their love.


*CheckB*Suggestions:
You used the phrase, "beat my fists..." twice in the piece and I think when a poem is as short as yours, you should try not to repeat specific phrases. Try to come up with another way to say what your feeling. I also think that you could've tried to come up with some emotion-invoking words, like maybe creating some metaphors or similes. Those are a great and easy way to sneak emotion into your poems. Even though you do have a few metaphors in there, they aren't that interesting. That's it for my suggestions! *Wink*


*CheckV*Spelling & Grammar:
I didn't find any spelling or grammar mistakes within the poem.


*CheckR*Overall Impression:
My overall impression was a very positive one. I thought this was a great, well-written piece of poetry. And I love the free-form you chose to use! So, great job, Atlas!


UniquelyMe *Peace*

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France


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Review of Morning Coffee  Open in new Window.
Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
*NoteV*Greetings and Salutations Lady Atlas! I am but a humble reviewer from the Paper Dolls Gang, here to give you my opinions, encouragement, and suggestions... nothing more, nothing less. I genuinely hope that you will find something useful within this review and if nothing else, at least walk away knowing that someone has enjoyed your writing.*NoteO*



*CheckG*Strengths & Things I Like
I love the second line down, where you described the steam as "tiny fists" that beat the air. That put such a cool image in my mind. And imagery is one of the most important elements in creating a well-written poem.
I also liked the little bit alliteration used in the ninth line down. The last line evoked emotion, invoking a lonely woman whose husband is no longer the man her used to be, and neither is their love.


*CheckB*Suggestions:
You used the phrase, "beat my fists..." twice in the piece and I think when a poem is as short as yours, you should try not to repeat specific phrases. Try to come up with another way to say what your feeling. I also think that you could've tried to come up with some emotion-invoking words, like maybe creating some metaphors or similes. Those are a great and easy way to sneak emotion into your poems. Even though you do have a few metaphors in there, they aren't that interesting. That's it for my suggestions! *Wink*


*CheckV*Spelling & Grammar:
I didn't find any spelling or grammar mistakes within the poem.


*CheckR*Overall Impression:
My overall impression was a very positive one. I thought this was a great, well-written piece of poetry. And I love the free-form you chose to use! So, great job, Atlas!


UniquelyMe *Peace*

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France


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Review of A Man Called Dad  Open in new Window.
Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*NoteV*Greetings and Salutations! I am but a humble reviewer from the Paper Dolls Gang, here to give you my opinions, encouragement, and suggestions... nothing more, nothing less. I genuinely hope that you will find something useful within this review and if nothing else, at least walk away knowing that someone has enjoyed your writing.*NoteO*



*CheckG*Strengths and Things I Liked:
Your courage at 17 years old is inspiring. I commend you for writing your true feelings and sharing them with us. My father and I, although under much different circumstances, had the same type of relationship so I can personally relate to this story. And I think when your readers are able to relate to the story or the characters, it reassures them that they're not alone. I love the way you structured your sentences and I think your choice of words added to the quality of the piece. You did a great job avoiding the passive voice and you did great with showing the details of your story instead of telling them. And that takes a lot of skill!


*CheckB*Suggestions:
Because this is a personal narrative, I really don't have any suggestions for the piece. Narratives are written in a totally personal way and I think any suggestions I might have would detract from the personal aspect of a narrative.


*CheckV*Spelling & Grammar:
I really didn't look hard for them because I was just so taken by the quality of writing. And I think that sometimes, spelling/grammar takes a backseat to the content of a great story.


*CheckR*Overall Impression:
This was such a touching story! One of the best narratives I've read in a long time! This is such a well-written story and I think you're an extremely talented writer. Overall, I give this 2 thumbs up! *Thumbsup**Thumbsup*


UniquelyMe *Peace*

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France


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Review of 11 Days In Hell.  Open in new Window.
Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*NoteV* Greetings and Salutations! I am a humble reviewer from the Paper Dolls Gang, here to give you my opinions, encouragement, and suggestions... nothing less. I genuinely hope that you will find something useful within this review. *NoteO*


Hi Lexi!! *Bigsmile*

*CheckG*Strengths and Things I Liked
I loved this story and I think it takes a very courageous and brave person to write such a good story about such a sad, touchy topic. I also think that this story is very relatable and will touch young girls who are dealing with this very issue. I love the metaphor, "...like the gates of Hell were in my own heart." I also loved how you wrote the, "blood bloomed like a rose" when it hit the water. That was excellent imagery! The phrase, "twitchy state of mania" was also awesome imagery and gave me a perfect mental picture of someone in that state of mind. In addition to the above strengths, your writing also evoked a mixture of emotions in me, all at the same time. I was anxious to read on, angry at the "hospital", and a couple others that I can't name.


*CheckB*Suggestions:
The sentence, "...and my chest felt like it was caving in", is an example of a cliche in writing. I only know this because I just finished an assignment on cliches. Anyway, what you should try to do is think of something as little more creative. For example, you could write: "I felt like there was a five thousand pound elephant standing on my chest". But that is purely a suggestion.


*CheckV*Spelling & Grammar:
In the line "Everyone wandered why...", the word "wandered" should actually be "wondered".


*CheckR*Overall Impression:
Great job, Lexi and what an amazing story! I think this has publishing potential (even though I'm certainly not an editor) and I can't wait to see the next installment! WRITE ON!



UniquelyMe *Peace*

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France


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Review of Red and Orange  Open in new Window.
Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*NoteV*Greetings and Salutations, Living! I am but a humble reviewer from the Paper Dolls Gang, here to give you my opinions, encouragement, and suggestions... nothing more, nothing less. I genuinely hope that you will find something useful within this review and if nothing else, at least walk away knowing that someone has enjoyed your writing.*NoteO*



*CheckG*Strengths
I absolutely loved the style of your writing. It is so unique. You are very descriptive and have such a talent for creating imagery! For example, your "tantalized tongue", "soft, gooey marshmallows", and "delightfully incinerate". AWESOME! I also loved the fact that you were writing as a bonfire which is so creative and original. I definitely think the alliteration you sprinkled throughout the piece is a strength. And the assonance of the poem was also very good, which is sometimes hard to differentiate from alliteration. The metaphors you used are amazing and my favorite one is, "...and explode into a thousand fire flies floating to the ground". They created such cool images in my mind. Although the piece was short, I felt more emotions from this poem than I've felt from pieces that are 3 times as long. And you were able to hook me right away with the first line and keep me interested to the end. So well done!!


*CheckB*Suggestions:
Unless you were purposely putting in a Rice Crispies reference, I would try and think of another way to say, "Snap, crackle, and pop". For example, But that is purely a suggestion and my only one! *Bigsmile*


*CheckV*Spelling & Grammar:
I only found two errors. First, in the fourth line down, there shouldn't be a comma in between "tasty morsel". Second, in the fifth line down, I believe you were trying to say, "mesmerized", instead of "memorized".


*CheckR*Overall Impression:
My overall impression was "WOW!". Does that about sum it up for you? *Wink* I was extremely impressed with this little poem and look forward to reading your other stuff!


UniquelyMe *Peace*

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France


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Review of The Last Vistor  Open in new Window.
Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*NoteV*Greetings and Salutations! I am but a humble reviewer from the Paper Dolls Gang, here to give you my opinions, encouragement, and suggestions... nothing more, nothing less. I genuinely hope that you will find something useful within this review and if nothing else, at least walk away knowing that someone has enjoyed your writing.*NoteO*


*CheckG*Strengths:
The way you structured the words in the piece, making it very different. Like instead of writing something like, "I rarely had visitors here to greet", you wrote, "And visitors here did rarely I greet." Writing it that way creates a totally different feeling to the sentence. Also, the 3-line stanza rhyming scheme you chose was great! I believe it's called a Terza Rima? The way you put that standalone line every two stanzas down was awesome and definitely a strength! I loved it kept changing but at the same time stayed the same. That one line helped build the suspense and drama of the poem which I thought was another strength! And it also gave the poem a really cool rhythm, almost like a song. I think that was my favorite part. The poem is very reminiscent of an English sonnet in the way it reads.

*CheckB*Suggestions:
Although I did think the sentence structure was unique, a few times it was a bit confusing. For instance, the line "I want this to visit to last not much longer." would sound make more sense if you instead wrote something like, "I don't want this visit to last much longer". I think just switching the words you've already written around makes the sentence make a more sense. In the 17th stanza, I think maybe adding "me" to "A calm washes over me"

*CheckR*Spelling and Grammar:
I think you forgot to put the word "a" in the line, "...offer him a beverage." Other than that I didn't find any other spelling/grammar mistakes. *Thumbsup*

*CheckV*Overall Impression
I thought this was a well-written, refreshing poem on an otherwise over-written topic, death. It was a unique take on the subject and I admire you for your effort!


Great job and WRITE ON! *Sun*


UniquelyMe *Peace*

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France


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Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Red! *Bigsmile*

I am going to be very in honest in this review of your short story. First of all, this story was like drinking liquid inspiration. Ok, here's the honesty part. I am a recovering addict and attend NA meetings occasionally (although I should go more) so I can relate to this piece more than the average person who's never experienced addiction. Everything you wrote was true, especially the part where you wrote, "If you need a professional liar, find a practicing addict." There couldn't be a truer statement said! The emotions you evoked in me were so strong that I applaud you because it takes a lot for me to be emotionally moved by a story. It also takes talent to be to invoke any kind of emotion in your readers. I loved the main character of the story, again because I could relate to her. You did a great job with characterizations (showing instead of telling). My favorite line of the entire piece is the one about God tapping you on the shoulder. That's such a creative and original quote you came up with. I would like to ask you a question and I hope I'm not being too forward... Is this a true story? And if it is, is it about you? I only ask because you write with the heart of someone who's experienced withdrawal, desperation, and despair... all the things that go hand in hand with addiction.

Anyway, I'd just like to say that it was an honor reviewing your story and you are a talented writer. So great job and write on!! *Wink*


UniquelyMe *Peace*

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France


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Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi Shelby! Here is my great and wonderful review for your prologue to "Erika Nite"!! *BigSmile*


Things I Liked
I definitely like the line you started off the story with because it shows your unique writing style and the main characters' lingo, so to speak. The motto for the Academy is a really cool quote. Your protagonist is great! She's bold and outspoken and I tend to gravitate to characters like that... I also like her name which I think it fits perfectly within the context of the story. This story evoked strong emotions in me, especially the part about the ten year old child trying to escape. I actually got mad *Angry* at the "Academy"! I think one of the strongest points to this piece is that you used good characterization techniques. So instead of telling us exactly what your characters looked like and what they were feeling, you showed us. Last but not least, you were able to hook me in the beginning and keep me interested all the way to the end.


Suggestions for Improvement *Right* These are purely suggestions meant to encourage and guide
I think since you are writing most of the piece in the first person point of view (POV), Erika Nite's POV, that you should be consistent with that all the way through the story. You don't necessarily have to stay in one POV, but it can sometimes sound a little awkward if you don't do it right. One thing you should always do is keep your paragraphs written in the same POV. If you do choose to have multiple POV's throughout the story, you should start a new paragraph for each one. For example, the 1st paragraph of the piece is in the third person but ends in the first with, "...that was me". Also, if you're using numbers you should write it in word form instead of using the numerical symbol. In the 5th line down, the first "to" in "to young to..." should be "too young to". I make that mistake all the time. *Wink* In the sentence, "...all you read above is true" sounds a little awkward and I think maybe changing it to "Everything you read above is true". Finally, I did kind of wonder what you meant with the last line. What's not going to stay that way?

All in all I think you did a good job. Write on, Shelby!!



UniquelyMe *Peace*

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France


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Review of The snail  Open in new Window.
Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Sputnik! I want to start off by saying that this is just a review and that I hope you get some useful feedback! *Wink*

Things I Liked
What an awesome little piece of fiction! I love the way you give subtle details throughout the story about the snails' appearance and personality. For example, the way you described "tears and mucous" pouring down his face was great! And the "trail of rainbow slime" he left behind. Also great! You did a good job with your use of similes and metaphors in the story, as well. I like your protagonist and even though he's a snail, you've humanized him enough to relate to. I loved the twist at the end, with the moon getting eaten. It was totally unexpected and creative!

Suggestions for Improvement
The pace of the story started out a little slow but then picked up a little towards the end. In the third paragraph, you repeated the word "forest" three times which should be replaced with another word, like "woods" or even "thicket". You also repeated the word sound in the fourth paragraph a bit too much and, along those same lines, something I just recently learned, here on WDC is to avoid "announcing" the sense you are writing about. So in this case, you wrote "...he heard a strange squishing sound. Try to show instead of tellthe details of your story. It will engage your readers more. A couple spelling and grammar mistakes I noticed: the first was in the last sentence of the second paragraph and it shouldn't have a comma in it. Another was 6 lines up from the bottom were you wrote, "..."gave a laughed" and instead "laughed" should be in the present tense, "laugh". *Smile*

All in all, I think this was a very good, very cute story that intrigued me from beginning to end. So great job, Sputnik and WRITE ON!!


UniquelyMe *Peace*

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France


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14
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Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi B... Great job!

First Impressions: My impression was that this story evoked a lot of emotion in such a short amount of words. I love reading stories like that, especially flash fiction ones!


Things I liked:
My two favorite lines in the piece were: "The hollowness consumed her," and "...her hushed voice cracked with every word". I loved how I was able to jump right into Sara's grief because of the well-written plot. Also, I liked your word choice (diction) and the way the piece flowed. It was very natural. I was able to get to know the characters through the diction of the story as well.


Suggestions for Improvement:
You used the phrase, "walls echoed" twice which should be revised to something different. The first time you used it was the better of the two, so personally, I would change, "...walls echoed her ragged breaths" to something like, "Everything around her seemed to reflect her grief." These are just suggestions and not meant to offend. *Wink*
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Review of Perfectly Unique  Open in new Window.
Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi ACS... *Smile* What a sweet little poetry gem!

First Impressions:
My first impression of this poem was that it was short but sweet and that I definitely like the rhyme scheme.


Things I liked:
I loved the title, hence my Handle, UniquelyMe! But not only that, I thought it fit the poem perfectly! The line, "...as I have given mine" is very deep and emotional. I liked the way the poem flowed and the rhyme scheme, though I'm certainly not an expert, is ABCB which I believe is a Quatrain?


Suggestions for Improvement:
I really don't have any suggestions for improvement. Although I do think you could extend it and it would be even more awesome! But I like this piece the way it is.


Spelling/Grammar:
The only grammar mistakes I saw was with the word "I". You have them as lowercase & they should be uppercase.
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Review of Through The Wind  Open in new Window.
Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi Jane! *Smile* My first impression about this poem was that it was about an ex-boyfriend, who didn't treat you the way he should of, coming back into your life and complicating what was a simple life before he showed up. I can definitely relate to the line, "What it ruined with it's retched winds...". When I read that I thought of "winds" as words, concluding that he must have said some awful words and that's what ruined the relationship. I don't know if I'm even close to what you meant with this poem but that's how it spoke to me. My favorite line is, "Uncertainty complicates all". In terms of punctuation and grammar, I only found two mistakes. The first is the word "retched" which should be spelled "wretched". The second is in the ninth sentence up from the bottom. I think you put an extra "to" after the word "arisen" in there. Other than that, I think this a well-written free-form poem.

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UniquelyMe *Peace*

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France
17
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Review of Broken World  Open in new Window.
Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is short but to the point. My first impression was that I agreed with the poem. Regarding grammar, I only found two mistakes. The first is the word "commited" which is correctly spelled committed. The second is the word "obitchuary" which should be spelled obituary. I also think you could've chosen some words with a little more emotion behind them. Other than that, I thought this was a well written little poem and I like your writing style (this is the second poem of yours I've read). My favorite line is, "Climbing up will only knock you down" because I can definitely relate to that specific line...

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UniquelyMe *Peace*

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France
18
18
Review of Glass Rose  Open in new Window.
Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Good afternoon, Victor. *Smile* I like this AABB rhyming scheme. It fits well with this poem. The rhymes are creative and well-written, as is the entire poem. My two favorite lines are, "Through my soul the flower is singing." and "Her scent is hypnotic." These are really powerful lines! The only suggestion I have is to structure the poem a little differently. It makes it a little hard to read, although I'm not a poetry expert so it might just be my personal preference. I like the subject you wrote about but I will be honest and say that it didn't really invoke emotion in me. I'm not quite sure why. Your word choice is good but some of them could be replaced with more powerful words. I don't know if you care, but I just read this poem from bottom up (backwards) and it sounded amazing!! You should try it when you get a chance. Overall, I think you did a great job, Victor!

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UniquelyMe *Peace*

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France
19
19
Review of Do I Know You  Open in new Window.
Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Kagome! *Smile* I like this short short. Although I think it could use some touching up, I think it's personal and intimate. I can actually relate to the feeling you're writing about here. I do think you might try sprucing it up with some more powerful word choices. For example, the first line could be, "Your smile speaks volumes of joy and happiness." And also, for the 7th line down, maybe you could write, "There isn't a day goes by that you're not dancing in my mind, twirling through my daydreams." What do you think? This will invoke emotion in the reader which is very important in writing. Regarding grammatical errors, I only found one: the first word of the poem should be "Your". What's great about it is that it touches on a subject that people feel all the time and can relate to when they read this, like I did. Know that this is just a review and you know what your writing should sound like take whatever you want from this. *Wink* Overall, good job!

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UniquelyMe *Peace*

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France
20
20
Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Marilyn. What an awesome piece about the towers. Any time I read something about the twin towers it invokes emotion, but yours more so than any other. I think, "tall towers tumbled" is great use alliteration. In terms of rhyme scheme, I think it was ABCB and I loved it, although I am definitely not a poetry expert! Regarding grammar, I didn't find any mistakes. *Thumbsup* One of my favorite lines is, "We’ve discovered heroes among us..." because it's rings so true! That moment in time did change everyone's lives in an instant, no matter where you were in the country! It still brings me to tears to think about how many people died horribly that day. Great job, Kenzie and I feel honored I was able to review your poem! Write on... *Wink*

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UniquelyMe *Peace*

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France
21
21
Review of Dicing with Death  Open in new Window.
Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Nightguard! *Smile* This was such a well-written little piece of fiction. You hooked me right from the start. I especially love the way you described Death because I was able to picture him exactly... it was spot on! The rats eating the dog was grotesque and fit perfectly in the story! This story was easy to read and I thought that the words you chose were exactly what the story called for. Also, I think you did a good job introducing the characters without telling too much back-story. Your ending was also exciting and left me intrigued and wanting more. In terms of grammatical/spelling mistakes, I only found one. At the end of the first pgh, you wrote "...black sockets in a blooded skull.". I was just wondering if you meant to write bloodied or if it was intentional because blooded would also make sense I guess. Overall, I think you did an excellent job. Write on!

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UniquelyMe *Peace*

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France
22
22
Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey there! I love your story. The plot has definitely hooked me and I can't wait to see the next part to this story! I did find a few grammatical mistakes which were: I believe the phrase you were looking for is "spitting image", not "splitting image". Also, you wrote, "I prey silently and the correct form is pray. I absolutely love the metaphor, "hair as grey as the ash left behind from their Cuban cigars". That is perfect! It shows that you know the difference between showing and telling in a story. I was able to see his hair in my mind from that description. Great job!

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UniquelyMe *Peace*

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France
23
23
Review of What If?  Open in new Window.
Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a very pretty, emotional poem. My first impression was that I've actually had dreams like this and you did a great job putting it into words. The subject of the poem is intriguing and the words you chose for the poem fit perfectly within the context of the piece. I didn't see any grammatical errors nor could I come up with any suggestions for this poem. I think it works well just the way it is. Great job, Sum1!

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UniquelyMe *Peace*
24
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Review of Night Watch  Open in new Window.
Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
What an interesting piece! I think it's so cool that this was inspired by a security patrol walk. You have a way with words that showcases your writing style, for example "plastic-art-asphalt roadways" is so unique and descriptive. Another really cool , "dreaming primordial image archetypes" is also a really cool description of a dream. I was so intrigued by your word choice and the way it flowed was quite natural. I was wondering why you chose to capitalize the words, "November Wind"? And the only suggestion I have is with the word "illumined". I think you meant to say illuminated. All in all, I think you did a great job and I really like this.

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UniquelyMe *Peace*

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France
25
25
Review by UniquelyMe Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey there Dawson. First of all, I LOVE Hunter S. Thompson! But I was kind of confused after reading this. I guess I'm not a poet and sometimes find poetry a little hard to understand so that's probably why. One of the things that confused me was the way you capitalized a lot of the words. For instance, "Creation's Physics" and "Ritual Drums" are capitalized and if I sound like an idiot for asking, I'm so sorry, but I was wondering why? I do like the uniqueness of this piece and it really doesn't matter if I understand it as long as you do! *Smile* Good job, anyway.


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UniquelyMe *Peace*

"To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything."
- Anatole France
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