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5 Public Reviews Given
5 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Hammersmith  Open in new Window.
Review by MelindaJean Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I feel like this is a great premise. I like that this starts in Heaven and I laughed a bit at the beginning.
But I felt a little lost. Did I start with the right story or is there another one I need to start with?
I just want to start where I'm supposed to. I dont want to mess the story up :)
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Review of Lonely Hearts  Open in new Window.
Review by MelindaJean Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I feel like this is a sweet story.
Reading it made me feel a variety of emotions; sadness, despair, hope, frustration, happiness.
These are good things to feel in a short story, right? :)
I'm that last person to talk about this because it is a major struggle for me so there is no judgment here, just pointing out a small flaw, grammar. There were just a few little things that I caught but semantics, am I right ;) Just be on the lookout for missing words.
I also feel like when Samantha swore at Darwin it was a little unnatural for her character. It felt forced but that very well could be because I dont know enough about Samantha. I just got the feeling she was on the quiet, shy, and soft-spoken side. I feel like if she were to get angry it would be harsh, yes, but maybe more so with body language instead of what she said. Maybe it just needs to be rephrased to sound more natural. Not sure.
This was a good short story. Got to the point quickly and didnt waste my time. I also like the precise voice you narrated with. That kept everything moving in a very active way.
Thanks for this :)
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