I read into your story, it is quite interesting!
The vocabulary you use is far above average from what I usually see, the pictures you draw are easy to imagine and artistic at the same time. I like how you look at the big picture as well, not just the details. Glad you found your way to this site, because you'd definitely be a great addition to the community!
I'm guessing that you are writing up something out of experience or maybe a close friend of yours, maybe family. It doesn't matter much, as I'm reading into the text, not the person behind it. The words you're using are definitely strong willed and meaningful. The terms are on spot, as much as the image of the situation itself.
I'd encourage you to write the end of the lines in a bit more symmetrical, try to get some alliteration going on. It gives a wave of tempo and drift for your otherwise well depicted senses.
Keep it up!
Once upon a time there was a boy, obsessed with the idea of flying. Everyday, he would look up at the sky, imagining that he would freely soar the skies, cutting into clouds and wander wherever his heart felt like going to. He was distracted with the idea so much, he would just stare out of the school windows blankly, failing his subjects one after another. His parents were furious, thinking he was just being lazy. Soon though, they became a bit more anxious about his mental health. He was taken to a psychologist, who said he's just a bit off the ground, but nothing more. One day, he the boy saw an advertisement in the TV about joining the Air Force. Naturally, he was so excited, he tried going to an airbase, talking to everyone he could to try and make an application. After about a month, he was finally getting a position, letting him go on an interview. Because of that, he learnt day and night to get the best possible results he could. Of course, his natural talent and knowledge didn't stop him from getting a pilot's licence soon enough. Months fly by with simulation, classes and more tests. Until finally, he took off with his wingmates one day. Staring to the sides, he felt the G force push him into the seat while the aircraft lifted off the ground. It was a wonderful feeling. Lian finally felt...free.
Just wow. This was far the best and most expressive poem I've seen so far! Naturalistic expression, but even though there are no rhymes, I can give that to the "heat" that comea within the spirit of the writing. Very good job indeed, and I hope to see more like these :)
I've never really been into poetry, but this one looks interesting. The images drawn by the rhyming words are quite dark, I guess it is about a girl being disconnected from a machine that kept her alive. Simplistic, yet straightforward by the story, I like it :) good job!
Hey there! I found this short draft of about Project Alpha, and I would like to encourage you to write it on! I'm curious what will happen, and your writing style as well. Welcome to writing.com, and even though you're probably busy with your spare time, please let us see some of your works as well :)
Awesome short story, really true. In a society, where everyone is demanded to show their best side, one can't help but keep lying about themselves, acting all the time. Really nice way you presenced it, short, straightforwards and yet simple. Keep up the good work, and welcome to writing.com! :)
First off, welcome to writing.com! Definitely an interesting concept, the first thing it made me remember was The Jungle Book, being raised by animals and living in their natural environment. I hope I'll see much more content later, you should definitely write more, the story is quite gappy just yet. Keep up the good work, and send me a mail when you fill out with more. Keep on writing, don't be shy! :)
Hey there :) first of all, I'm glad you joined the community, you'll like it here for sure! Second, the writing. It is definitely something personal, looking for that special someone. It does sometimes feel like you're trying to find the love of your life, or just willing to find someone you want to get along with. I like how you bring that motive in paralell to having something new and old, as eventually every blooming love has to reach an extent.
Make sure to use more allegories and poetric pictures to make your writing a bit more colorful and bring beauty into those words. Keep it up :)
Nice story indeed. As a student myself, I never really experienced what it is like to be a teacher. Of course, I could only see what they did when they were standing behnd the teacher's desk and telling all kinds of rules, history lessons and laws of physics. It does give me a different perspective on the whole case. Thank you, it was definitely a good, casual read.
This is one of the most heartwarming writings I've read so far! I've been on writing.com for about 3 or 4 days, and this definitely takes first place on my list. Natural, shy and sincere, I loved the realistic scenario that was described here, the feeling of fighting the urge not to fail to give a good first impression, while keeping the fire in control in one's heart. Lovely writing, I'm definitely reading the rest of it too!
The idea you're trying to make through is pretty obvious and dark, and it's definitely a good topic to pick. Even though, I would recommend you used more allegories and scenes. The switch from nice to straight on horror is quite sharp, you could work on it with more text. Keep up the good work though, use more tools!~
While I appreciate the thought and feeling that you could bring throughwith such simple lines, it would be a bit better to use allegories, metaphors to make the whole writing a bit more colorful. Even though, the idea itself wasn't bad at all. Work on it a bit!
Definitely a heartwarming writing there. Houses are the best memory lane travels, living and working around them just seem to never get old...but as life goes on, things have to change. I've never around a countryside nor a farm, but I can imagine how much of a value that house meant to you. I like the picture of having the snow and rain on the roof, supporting and defending the family living inside~
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