I love this. It was very complete in thought, and felt sincere. We lost our Josie at twelve days old a few months ago, and she was so beautiful. The grief was indescribable to us, but you captured it very nicely, as well as the Peace of the LORD He has given us. as far as mechanical errors go, some capitalization needs to be done.
Write On!
Good job. The theme is very intriguing, and the title caught my attention immediately. The structure contributes well to the idea, especially in the last stanza, where the two extra lines give the reader the feel that the stop was sudden; and enjambment in the second stanza implies that the end would be obvious. The irregular meter lends a sense of the chaos of the unknown and of night. The imagery is also very natural and well put-together.
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