This piece was very dark and made me feel alienated by the dark character which was never seen. I am going to try and write about the light side. I feel as intense about the light side as your eyes in this piece seemed to center around things which were in the shadows rather than in the sunlight. Light is where hope and faith abound. But good writing overall.
Great imaging of what total silence can feel like and the joy of being able to finally make all that you wanted. The idea of waiting for the sound of footsteps coming to your door had me waiting on the edge of my seat waitning to see what was going to happen. Your use of building up to you final sentence was good. Just after the first couple of sentences I was really drawn into the story. Keep writing.
Good writing but a bit confusing. The characters thoughts seemed to be all over the place. This makes it hard for the reader to folllow the story. I think that a little more intro into different actions of the main character would make this story a more readable story. The writing itself is good and the grammer seems to be all in order. Just try and think about readability from the readers point of view.
Your poem was well written and expressed some unspoken thoughts and feelings. I csnnot say I truly enjoyed the poem because it made do some soul searching of my own, But it was really well written,
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/maryanna49
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.10 seconds at 10:32pm on Dec 21, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
