Pretty good. Also have been in that situation. The moment you realize that you forgot and that intense feeling of panic. I hope the poem paid off as intended. I actually enjoyed it enough to where I wanted to read more. If you do a longer one of the original I would definitely be down for that.
Its Now or Never! Really hit on that huh? Must have had something happen to have those words continuing like that. However, I agree with you and like the message. The rhyming itself is not a favorite of mine but the message was good.
What can I say other than this was just simply awesome. I really enjoy war stories especially when its about life on the front line. The whole ride was great, from beginning to end. Also a great reveal towards the end there. My only complaint is that there was not more to read.
This was definitely a ride (pun intended). I was confused on a couple parts as it seemed like it became night time at 3 different occurrences. Also I didn't get the gobbled up part about the school. But other than that it flowed really well and it went quick, which made it seem like he was riding fast. A lot to like here but just some clearing up of why it became night so often or was he riding for days? But a great start for sure. I would like to read more.
This was a roller coaster of emotions. I'm not sure if there was anger in writing this but I can feel the pain on the page jumping back at me. I also like how it was written where it almost seems like a downward spiral or perhaps a maze to the written truth? Either way very moving work.
Very cool poem. Really makes you see what you are writing. I almost felt like I was at an old opera house listing to a Shakesperian actor say this aloud.
Good stuff
Marcus
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