This prologue is quite appetizing. And this way of showing gods of good and evil rather like partners in a game than fierce ennemies sounds much more interesting than the usual manicheism of many novels. I would be interested to have the pitch of your story to translate it in French (though this prologue says a lot about)
As a Frenchman, I'm not quite able to tell something about your style or your language, but the story itself looks me very interesting, with also its reflexions about the weight of the responsibilities. Indeed I think it would be the worst for mutant beast : Understand and fell this burden.
Good text, but difficult to read because there is no separated paragraphs. As my mother tongue is not English, it had been quite a problem in some moments.
To have paragraphs, do Maj + shift and i think it will be OK.
Continue to give us extracts of this interesting story.
P.S : why do you prefer using present rather than perfect ?
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/marcgalan
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.11 seconds at 2:03pm on Nov 22, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
