\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/manturnea
Review Requests: OFF
5 Public Reviews Given
5 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Manturnea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
A really great start to an engaging story! I'm curious to see where you take the main character and what happens to him now.

I've read over the piece a couple of times and bear with me, I'm a little lost on a few of your descriptions. Who are the chitter sailers? Are they small animals? or a group of people within the main characters' home and what makes them so adept and moving in the branches that you main character surpasses them? Also the group of Runners, the main character proved his unworthiness? Is he not running across the tree branches? I'm conflicted in the visual you are attempting to portray. You also mention the depth of his travel into the forest canopy, but you mention that depth several times that it begins to feel redundant as if the reader doesn't understand the protection a thick forest canopy can provide.

I'm curious about what happens next, so despite these lingering questions, I'm hooked and already eager to read more. Keep it up!
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/manturnea