This is really scary especially for someone so young. I knew exactly where you were talking about when you said the first hospital St. Francis. My son was born in Hillcrest. This really is a small world when you think about it. I am glad you got better. I think it helps to write everything out.
This was such a great read. I want more and hope that you continue this story. Now I need to know what has happened to the little town and its inhabitants. I hope to one day be able to write like this. Thank you for this little story.
"claps hands vigorously" bravo, very well written, I feel as if I was actual there. I'm gonna be honest, I want more. I need to know if Otis finds out anything and if he gets out of the loony bin. I am at the edge of my seat. Great job.
I really liked reading this story, I think that at one time or another we have all faced this with the one we love. It is a story we can all relate to. My only constructive criticisms would be, you put "Her eyes we glazed over that night" it should be "Her eyes were glazed over that night" and I'm not really understanding the sentence "he only saw her cool leather back facing him" to me this sentence gives me the sense that her back is of leather which I don't see backs as leather, maybe if she was old. Great job though, I would definitely read if this was a book.
This story is very thought provoking. I can see both sides, the dad's and the daughter's. On one hand you have to let them grow up and driving is one part of that, but on the other the dad's side he shouldn't of been so hard on her, that could happen to anyone. This is a very good story and I enjoyed reading it. Thanks
This is a great take on a Thanksgiving tradition. I would have to say I am with Aunt Gertrude, as I would not want to kill the turkey myself, especially if my family were like theirs and were like vultures. My only critism is in the third sentence, "I didn't mean it wasn't my turn to cook. What mean is I AM NOT going to kill that turkey." after what there should be an "I". "What I mean is I AM NOT going to kill that turkey." Great job
It has a great concept. My only note is that I had to re-read it a couple of times, because I didn't realize Richmond was the last name of Justice, so I got confused at first. Other than that, in the sentence, "I'm going to kill you." for the dialect of the story maybe you should say, "I'm gonna kill you." like they had a drawl at the beginning. Good job so far.
Anna
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