The title drew me to read this, as I have a thing for croissants. I make them myself and there is something magical about having a slightly warm, freshly baked crisp croissant. That first bite makes the work of making them worth it.
I liked the way you used the lines for the prompt. It works. The poem flowed well and was fun to read. I found no errors and have no suggestions.
I came across your piece "How do you move on?" in the Read and Review section.
I get what you are saying in this. Moving on is hard, especially when you loved someone. I have found you just keep going because that is all you can do. When my soulmate died, I had three kids I had to care for, and well, it was hard. The person I would have leaned on for emotional support was gone. It does get better over time, and I have found that remembering the best things about them helped me. I carry those memories close and let the rest go.
Not much of a review, just wanted to say that I love this. It cracked me and made me smile in a dark way that only someone who has been the object of 'peeping toms' could truly appreciate!!
I came across your poem this afternoon and wanted to share my thoughts. I found this to be quite inspirational. Dealing with addiction is no easy task. It is possible to overcome it, if you believe in yourself and truly want to do it.
This poem had a nice flow and the rhyme was well done. I did notice one small typo, the word 'instill' was missing an 'l'.
Thank you for sharing this with the community. I know it is not easy to put yourself out there. I hope to read more of your work in the future.
I saw your poem listed on the entries in the Shadows and Light contest page and wanted to share my thoughts. This is very poignant and flows really well. Powerful words of truth. Excellent work.
I saw your piece in the read a newbie section and I am so glad that I took the time to read it. I know where beauty is, it is in your words. This piece was very moving and well written. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
I noticed no obvious errors or typos and if it were my work, I wouldn't change a word.
Thank you so much for sharing this with the community and giving me an opportunity to read such a lovely poem.
Hi, Dia's diary and welcome to Writing.com! I can totally relate to your poem as that happens to me often. I enjoyed your little poem, and look forward to reading more of your work.
Thank you for sharing it with the community I know it is not easy to put yourself out there.
Hi, SomaSilver. I came across your poem in the Read and Review section and wanted to share my thoughts.
The title is well-chosen for this piece. The poem has a good flow, but I think it could be better if the rhyme pattern wasn't so unusual. Only rhyming the first two lines of each stanza, makes it feel a bit uneven. Although that also seems to fit with the context of the poem, not being sure where you want to go.
Overall I enjoyed reading this poem, I liked the tone and the message it presents. Thank you for sharing this with the WDC community. I hope to read more of your work in the future.
Hi, I just read your poem,"Christmas Mourning" and wanted to share my thoughts.
The title drew me to read this and it is perfect for the piece. Christmas can be such a bittersweet time for so many people. For me, as I have grown older and lost so much of my family and many of my closest friends, Christmas makes me sad. The memories are nice, but they also leave me with a sometimes overwhelming sense of loneliness and loss. Your poem conveys this feeling very well.
This piece was incredibly written, and I very much enjoyed reading it.
I found no errors, and have no suggestions as this is a five-star piece in my opinion.
First, let me say I am sorry for your loss. Losing friends is never easy, and it is made harder when their death is caused by something like drug use. Writing is a good way to deal with grief, I know this because I have done quite a bit of grieving myself.
Your poem has a good flow, and I can feel your emotions through your words.
I remember seeing this contest listed when I first joined WDC back in 2015. It seems like it would have been an incredible challenge. It was something that I thought about trying back then, but I never had the courage to give it a try since my fiction writing skills aren't all that great, I didn't think I could even get past the audition.
The contest page is well laid out with different sections.
The premise of the contest is well explained, I like that there are thorough explanations of the required character reference and the introductory story.
The rules and requirements are specific and easy to understand.
The prizes are generous.
I am sure judging this contest is quite an undertaking because of the multiple tournament rounds.
I didn't notice any errors and there is nothing the detracts from the contest page.
It would be great to see this contest open again. I can think of a few good short story writers who would probably have a great time with this contest.
When you said in the newsfeed you'd written a poem about squirrels, I had to check it out. I LOVE squirrels. I would say they were my spirit animal if I believed in such things.
I love your poem, it flows very well and has great imagery. I'm feeling a bit like hibernating myself today, it is very cold outside and I have to go take my dog for his walk and I am not looking forward to it!
I'm glad I took a minute to read this, it made me smile! Good luck in the contest!!
Hi, Northwood and welcome to Writing.com! After reading your blog at the 30 Day blogging challenge, I wanted to check out some of your work. This piece caught my eye because I like garden gnomes. I have several vintage gnomes I have purchased at auctions. My favorite one is the gnome riding a pig. That one stays comfortable and dry on my back porch and in the winter, he gets to warm his old bones by the fireplace.
Your poem was fun and I really enjoyed it. I like well written humorous rhyming poetry. I write it sometimes too, although not as often as I used to.
Maybe it is just me but I think this line:
but I couldn’t catch snail.
needs an 'a' before snail. Every time I read it, my mind inserts one there.
Thank you so much for sharing this lovely little poem with the community!
I came across this poem in the Read and Review section and wanted to share my thoughts.
This poem gave me the chills as I know exactly what you were going through. I ran away from my abuser twice, he found once and I was forced to flee a second time. Like you I found someone wonderful - who understood- and my life was better than I ever thought it could be.
The building intensity of this poem was very good. I could feel your fear growing as the poem moved forward. My heart began beating faster as I read through it. Well Done!
I have no suggestions, I would change a word. This has such a powerful impact.
I found your poem in the Read and Review section and wanted to share my thoughts.
The title is perfect as is the short description. The poem flows well and has very nice imagery. I could picture this little boat being thrashed about in the storm churned sea.
I saw nothing that detracts from the piece, no errors or typos and I have no suggestions. I like it just the way it is.
Thank you for sharing this lovely little poem with the community!
This is a lovely acrostic written for WDC's 18th Birthday. The form was followed well. I like the way you separated the words by using different colors. That added a nice touch. My favorite line is
"Writers safe inside this haven" that is really well put and is so true of the WDC experience.
Thank you for sharing this poem with the community. Good luck in the contest.
What a lovely poem! I really enjoyed reading it. It had a wonderful flow and rhythm and the rhyme was well done. There were a few slant rhymes, but it still worked beautifully.
I offer one suggestion, and it is just my opinion. I think you should cut the last stanza. There is nothing wrong with it, I just think that this stanza:
So let's live in the present not future or past
And treasure each experience that goes by so fast
Makes more of an impact. To me, it feels like an ending. Just an idea, my initial feeling when reading it.
Thank you for sharing this fantastic poem with the WDC community. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.
Karen
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