Oh my, the line "embryonic work of fiction..." is as clear a picture as I've read or imagined to describe that feeling. A work about to be born. Wonderful!
I really liked this poem. It was full of emotion, but not so much as to crowd out the message. It was well written, and I had it accompanied in my head with music. I think it would make a great song.
You wrote 'intergation', it should read 'integration'
Overall, it was quite good. I urge you to keep writing!
I found this story entirely captivating, beautifully descriptive and, at times, surprisingly funny. Sarcasm always works for me...
When you wrote of the 'scarred cat' did you mean 'scared'? I feel scarred, intentional or otherwise, lent to the visual effect.
Also, when you first mention the blue flower, you wrote 'pedals'. It should read 'petals'
Overall I loved it. Have now read both of your items and will look for more.
What an unexpected ending. The amount of information conveyed is impressive, considering the length. It gives the reader a full image of the dire consequences of ones actions, even those that seem small and insignifigant, such as entering a diner. I liked it very much.
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