The message is clear in this poem, however the repetition got to be a bit of a nuisance. This poem does more showing then telling, and I feel as though more imagery could have been added. I like the style used, as it was not the typical rhymes schemes that most poets use. It is an alright piece, just work more on showing not telling.
I really like the message behind this piece. I am a big fan of love related works. The rhyme scheme is nice, but there are a few lines that give me some trouble.
The second line seems too long and doesn't quite flow right. I am not really sure how you could adjust this to make flow smoother.
The line about "making the wish come to past", I don't know if you meant to use that...but pass seems the more appropriate word. That does end up messing with the rhyme scheme, but seems more suitable for the line.
The ending is very sweet. It gives an innocence to the piece. I enjoyed it.
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