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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lively
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15 Public Reviews Given
222 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of So! No! Go!  Open in new Window.
Review by Lively Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is an odd poem and I like it! It has the feel of Seuss's poems for the more adult reader, simple form and words, yet complex layers.

Not sure if I like the form though, personal preference. I would suggest if you want to keep it in this diamond pattern that you adjust it just a bit so it is better mirrored.

Lively
2
2
Review by Lively Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Well, you made me cry. The child's picture just did me in. Your language is a bit stilted and formal for "todays" reader. I'd suggest using contractions and checking for redundant words/images.

Your voice tends to be passive, the potential for action is there - use to your advantage.

It's a good piece.

Lively
3
3
Review of October's Lie  Open in new Window.
Review by Lively Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Wow, fantastic story. It pulled me in, and i couldn't take my eyes from the screen until the final words. The emotion of this is as real as any writer could hope for! Really nice job.

Lively

4
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Review of Safe Boating  Open in new Window.
Review by Lively Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I didn't think any would be funny, but you did it! Great entry! I'm not judging my own prompt, but if I were this would be top of my list!

Lively
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