This is a very nice piece with really intense suspense. It remind me of The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allen Poe in a certain way. A sound, real or imagined, can really take its toll on the human mind. I do wish that there was more explanation to why the narrator was experiencing such phenomena. Is he simply supposed to be crazy? However, the cliffhanger ending clarified my confusion slightly. Perhaps you did not intend for your reader to know the explanation. I love how this short story emphasizes the importance of perspective on any given situation. Keep it up!
-Squid
I absolutely love the satirical style of this piece. The descriptions of the characters are detailed enough to allow me to visualize them. I can fill in the blanks myself. It also seems intentional that you wished for the majority of the characters to be symbolic of people that swarm our society with their quirks and pre-determined thought patterns. I can clearly see into the mind of the narrator as well.
One thing that I don't like about the piece is that aside of the mockery of society, I don't really understand the literal situation. What exactly is going on here? What other message are you trying to convey with the story line?
Excellent work nonetheless! Bravo. I envy your literary finesse.
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