Well if this isn't dark I don't know what is. xP I love it!!!!! I feel like it would add a bit of comedy to the poem if you made it "Happily never after" to the end, since they aren't together as living people. Anywho, the rhythm was good and the poem is easy to understand. Write on!
Your story is honestly amazing. I love that instead of making it so that the main character is human, you make her a vampire instead. It adds a little bit of a surprising twist to the whole story. The beginning was a little confusing at first but after reading it over again I got it. This is great. Write on!
The story kept my attention the whole time. That's pretty good. ^.^ The writing was done well and I understood perfectly what was going on during the story. The ignorance of the elves due to them never changing was brilliantly put. I found a lot of inspiration in this piece.
This is amazing and very well written. It's got a touch of truth that no one ever really wants to admit. The emotion that runs through this poem is unbelievable. Love it.
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