Content: This is the great beginning of a story. Nice plot idea. I like how it's obviously influenced by Lord of the Rings, but still its own unique style.
Characters: The characters were great. Very believable and real-sounding. They all had their own very individual personalities.
Grammar/Vocabulary: As far as I could see, there weren't any grammar issues. Great job! And the vocabulary was excellent. You painted a great picture with the words.
Other: Just a little tip, but you should change the rating to probably 18+. Items rated ASR should have no swearing at all.
Overall, this story is great. I can't wait to read Part 2!
That was a pretty amazing piece. You used an incredible vocabulary and described everything so well it was like I was there. I liked the way you repeated the morning ritual scene when she grew up, too. Very good job!
lol I liked it. Twas pretty clever and witty, and I have to admit that I've found myself wondering the same things about other people as the main character. Thumbs up!
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/linkornpark89
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 3:09am on Dec 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
