Wow. I felt your frustration and the other emotions you felt - first when she wouldn't give you a chance, and I feel your love for her throughout it all, and your happiness when she finally gave you a chance. I do not know if this is fiction or a true story, but it is amazing when a person is able to feel the poet's emotions while reading their poem! You have a gift and I look forward to reading more of your writing!
Not sure I understand some parts of it, such as your soul putting out the fire or why your soul would do that, but it is a beautiful heart-felt profession of love and I enjoyed reading it. It's well-written and lovely, and I look forward to reading other poems/other writing from you. I hope your special someone knows you feel this way about them.
Very deep. And I am in complete agreement. When you love someone, you should tell them as often as you can because tomorrow is never promised, and a person never knows when either their time is up, or someone else's. I do try to do that. I wish more people felt this way and realized how important it is to tell and show people you love how much you love them before it is too late. This is advice that ought to be either published or shared with as many people as possible! I look forward to reading more from you in the future.
If we had more people thinking like you (not that there are not any, there are), then these issues would all eventually cease to exist. Love, kindness, compassion, peace, and hope (not false hope, but true hope) is what will make a difference in this world. I do what I can and look forward to a day where I can do much more to help. It is heart-warming to see someone else who cares as much about others the way the Lord does. And I am glad God was able to help shift your perspective to make you see how blessed you are. And remember, no "small way" a person is able to help someone is truly small to the person in need of the help who is receiving it. It is the small things that matter most and make life most meaningful, especially when it involves doing good for someone else who cannot help themselves and you help because you want to, which I can see you do.
I can hear the passion behind your words. This is definitely something (domestic violence) people need to be educated about so we can either prevent these situations from happening, or learn how to help someone going through it in a way that encourages them to get out of the volatile situation, or where a loved one knows the right thing to do to end it without making matters worse. And I am glad you are one such person who wants people to understand how devastating it is to be in a domestically violent situation, or watch a loved one suffer through it (whichever is the case here with you). Keep writing! I hope you get this or something else that would educate people about it, published!
Interesting and unique story. I love reading original stories, and this one was refreshing and intriguing. I thoroughly enjoyed reading The Visitor. I hope to find time to read some more of your stories. You are creative, imaginative, and talented and if you are not already published, you should be. If you are, then that is awesome!
Wow. A parent's, or in your case a father's, love for their child is not quite like any other love. You describe that kind of love so beautifully and tug on the strings of hearts of any person who reads this, or it did mine. A good poem makes the reader feel what the poet felt while writing the poem being read, and you did that. Your son is blessed to have a father who loves him so much.
Very intriguing! "italian" should be "Italian," but that is the only error I can see. I am very intrigued and curious at the age difference between Nora and Antonio because it sounds like she might have a crush on him or something (but she mentioned being a friend of Antonio's father). If this is a prelude, I (and other readers) can expect more story to read later right? I hope so because I would love to find out what Nora meant when she said "Actually, he...found me." I am definitely hooked and I will be looking for an update on this story.
I agree completely. We should share in each others' weeping and share in their joy. No matter how badly we feel, we need to reach inside for inner strength and still be kind to others. I wish everybody felt the way you do, but sadly not enough people do. This is very well-written and well said too (your meaning of this poem) and easy to understand too. There is one minor area that confuses me a bit though. You said "If we seek everlasting peace and our own." I don't understand what "and our own" means. I would like to understand though because seeking everlasting peace is very wise advice.
This poem made me "awe" out loud. Very touching! I am not married, but I too am waiting for someone to come back into my life. He ran away scared. It sounds like the man mentioned that is being waited for is honorable and I believe he will return home safely. I don't know if this is based on real life or fiction, but either way, the husband in the poem surely would return safely knowing his loving wife is waiting for him. I am a hopeless romantic who believes that nothing can stop two people truly in love from being together. Delay, maybe... but not top indefinitely.
Lovely poem. I feel the man's pain and regret. I can relate in an opposite kind of way. I met a man through a good friend of mine (they are cousins) and the day we met changed my life forever and I feel based on things he has said to me that he feels the same way but he is letting fear and something else (not sure what) rule his life. Thing is, he knows how to find me but it sounds like the man in your poem doesn't know a way to contact her or find her which is a shame. There is nothing I would ask you to change since the poem is getting into the thoughts of someone's head and people don't always reveal why they did certain things that they later regretted but only find themselves thinking about it. You have a nice writing style.
Aside from all the cursing (which I personally do not like so don't take offense please that I found it unnecessary to curse), it was a good story. A bit on the bizarre side but in a good way. It was definitely original and it is hard to find original writing in books or scripts these days. It was also good how you dragged out the suspense of "was it a mistake, or was the note really meant for Ed?" I had a feeling it was a mistake but I am still not disappointed since everything worked out nicely in the end. I like happy endings. One thing I do not understand is why Ed thought he was old at 41 years and how he looked older than 41. Also, I am a bit curious of Francine's age and Bolt's age. Overall, I liked the story for the most part.
Nevermind, I figured it out thanks. My screen finally popped up with "paste" within the body of the post after several attempts on my touchscreen phone. I would delete this post if I knew how to but I am not seeing the option to do so. Instead I am letting you know I figured it out.
I was cheering when Gaz finally asked her to dance then later told her he wanted to be with her because he likes her! Very romantic!!!!!!! Most of this chapter is extremely romantic and though I feel bad for the poor girl at the end of the chapter, being a romantic I give it 5 stars!!!!!!! All four chapters written so far are 5 star material! I can't wait to see this finished and published!!!!! Every chapter I get surprised with new information that is captivating!
Heart-wrenching is the first word that comes to mind for this chapter. I know what it's like to lose a loved one and I also salute Gaz for really opening up about his personal experiences and the amazing detail he uses to describe them all.
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