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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/leetozer
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3 Public Reviews Given
6 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by LeeTozer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Hi Shade,
I liked the simple direct language and action, and the way it was broken up into small sections, keeping the momentum and action flowing.
I would only suggest that you add more description of your characters, showing rather than telling, i.e. change "dwarven axe-man" to " a Dwarf with a short-handled axe at his side" for example. It is an intersting prologue, as most characters seem to die!
Lee
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Review of Tree Fairies  Open in new Window.
Review by LeeTozer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hi Gamma Jill,
I liked your story because of it's sense of mystery, and the humourous pay-off at the end. Also stories about fairies are always good in my opinion. The only suggestions for improvement I would make would be to add more dialogue as used in the last paragraph, and give all the main characters (the family and king) names. Also perhaps break up the length of your paragraphs, some longer, some shorter, just for variety. Thanks for your good 'fairy' story,
Lee
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