I have to admit, this was a surprising piece to read. I loved the artful shift in the way the conversation took place and the realism of the characters. In truth, the interplay between the siblings was wonderful, my only real critique is, more detail. Especially with the one brother grilling the other. It would have been nice to have seen more description either of the brother's while having the conversation or the things they were talking about. Wonderful piece. I will be looking for more that you write.
This story was a beautiful surprise. While there were a few typing errors, the idea behind it was poignant and staggering. While I love the imagery, the flow of the story, I do believe that one thing the author could benefit from is eliminating the constant use of the Word I. Use other words or phrases to describe personal thoughts and avoid falling into a habit of repetition. Otherwise, absolutely lovely. I enjoyed this work and hope to see more.
While the premise is beautiful of this piece, I have to be honest, that it felt somewhat disjointed to me. I loved the symbolism and description that was used. The author presents a beautiful picture of the scenario, one that is graphic and induces the imagery needed to full encompass the situation. It is only the rhythm that seemed to not fit with the work. I look forward to seeing more.
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