\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lauralalton
Review Requests: OFF
7 Public Reviews Given
7 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Laura L Alton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very good start to the story. I got into it quickly. The end seamed a little rushed. Maybe add a line between "I can tell you" line and the last line.
If you want to keep the same word count you could combine your opening with the character entering the house. You main also give him a good reason to check out the basement.
Overall a very good Flash Fic with clear beginning middle and ending.
2
2
Review by Laura L Alton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Sorry for your loss.

I really like the last paragraph. A few typos: "all my storms .Pr" "colon cancer.. A few " " learn from it.The future"

I also like your words of wisdom. I will remember them! You are right about the past being gone and learning from it.
Thank you for sharing this.
3
3
Review of Island  Open in new Window.
Review by Laura L Alton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Love the "crystal jellyfish in the black sea"
A little confused by "sand with going between our toes?"
Don't think you need "wearing warm clothes"

Over all a compelling image.

Laura L Alton
3 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lauralalton