I really enjoyed reading this lyric. You can feel the raw emotion in every line you have written. This lyric cuts straight to the bone and I love the way you faintly put your words to images to help the reader imagine what your high school days were like.
My favourite line in your lyric is "this sacrificial web of doubt" this in my opinion is a very powerful line that summons emotion as the wording you use is extremely strong.
This is a very good lyric and I could imagine it being a hit song, it faintly reminds me of the song Photograph by Nickleback.
Keep up the good work and I hope to read more of you in the future
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