Very nicely written. You captured a moment and emotion frozen in time. I especially liked the repetition of the first two lines at the end of your poem. My only suggestion, and it is a minor one, is that the word "slip" needs to be "slips" only to make it agree with the noun/verb tense of moment. Otherwise quite nice.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lamarqueza
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 5:38pm on Nov 21, 2024 via server WEBX1.