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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/lalagato
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Review by Lalagato Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
The beginning of the story is a bit fast. I think you should develop the characters more, I had no clue what AUs are. Maybe start with a one liner describing time and place. Otherwise, great story!
Few grammatical corrections:
" Instead of challenging her, the thug lead the other two over to the bar, where Athenais was able to get a better look at him." This should be changed to "...the thug led the..."
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