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Review by Kyle Pearson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Who wrote the poem up top? I am pretty sure that those need to be quoted, and it would be nice to know. It's a good poem.

Great intro paragraph! I love your use of vivid words to create a real image in the readers mind. Your use of adjectives is quiet spectacular. I like how you keep the readers mind going through the whole first part with all the pictures your words are painting. I also like that your adding the family's dynamic and how adorable the little girl already is :) The parts about Gary are very sad. The first part was very touching with amazing details and The only problem I personally had was that the words were was repeated like were were in one of the paragraphs. It was also kind of had to follow at times and maybe add more details in places and a better timeline for it.

I like Olivia's sense of humor and how it just needles its way into hers and Janet's conversation. I like that Olivia is trading what she is good at for time to talk, it shows that Olivia is a caring and kind person for not asking for payment in a situation like that.

Part three, the story of how Mark found out he has cancer is touching and sad and hits close to home for me. I almost cried at that part. The kids' stories are all touching and I find it amazing that you brought in a lesbian couple. I like that in such a sad part you add an image of a person trying to avoid a bunch of lizards. I think so far my Favorite part has been 3. It had it all, the happy and the sad.

Wow. that was absoloutly AMAZING!! IT has been a long itme since i have read anything this touching. I am in awe at how amazing of a writer you are and just everything was amazing. Thank you for writing this and i am sure that everyone else has had their eyesopen more just as i have from this touching story.
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Review by Kyle Pearson Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I think the name Fae for this kind of story is overused. Maybe think of something more creative next time? In my opinion the names of the characters are one of the most important aspects of writing a story.
I like the use of your descriptive words in the paragraph on Arbuckle! I think that you could have gone a little deeper into describing how he looks though.
I love Fae's Excitment over the possibility of it being a horse.
Why is Fae so scared of the Haunts?
The ending was FANTASTIC!
Overall this is a very good short read! I am glad I took the time to read it, and I think I was wrong about the name. I judge it by its cover, and I shouldn't have. Anyways. I liked it and I think it would be cool if maybe you continued in either direction on the timeline with this. I would love to read about Buckys life and why he is this way and more about Fae herself.
Great Job!
Kyle P.
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