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Hello, Lani It is my pleasure to be reviewing your work on behalf of our group, "Invalid Item" . I am reviewing this particular work because you are a participant in The Annual Advent Adventure-2011 Edition: "How Far To Bethlehem?".
Date Reviewed:December 3, 2011
Review Type : General
My Initial Response: This blog entry is a reflection of personal meaning on a shared journey. While it is not common to review blogs, or blog entries, this Adventure permits it.
B}I. GENERAL REVIEW
A.My first impressions of your writing:
You have taken the Adventure, and today's writing to heart. I am very pleased to see your commitment in action here. Given the option of being safe, or being real, you have chosen the latter. Congratulations! I believe you have chosen very well.
B. The plot:
The plot here is from two Scripture verses of the Bible; a story of a frightened King, and the promise he receives through the Prophet Isaiah. The promise begins its fulfillment some 700 years after the promise is received.
C. The characters:
The characters in this particular plot are well defined in your writing. Ahaz, his kingdom, the Prophet Isaiah, and the testimony given in Matthew's writing are well identified. The central character in your writing (and in the verses, too) is YOU. I am pleased to see so much of the reality of you in your writing. It is compelling. Thank you.
D. The action:
The action is well defined for the Isaiah passage, which gives leave to understand the action found in Matthew's passage. But, the action of most impact is yours. I would hope that Matthew gets some attention, for the reasons I will advance in future writings. Just be aware that Matthew is providing action central to the story, as well. I wonder if he was a witness to it, or if only a reporter from others who were witnesses.
E. The dialogue:
F. The background:
More than 400 years, God has been silent. When He shows up, He continues the conversation where he left off with the last verse of Malachi in the Old Testament. Ten generations of silence give way to a most amazing moment.
II. SPECIFIC Review
A. The overall story:
Your relationship to the story provide a looking glass, through which your fellow adventurers can use all the senses to share your reality with you. This is a bold and daring action on your part, and very worthy of a true Adventurer.
B. The theme:
As has inherently become a "norm" for our Adventures, the work on our journeys becomes intense, and intensely personal very quickly. While this is a representation of the successful journey, it has never been a concept OF the Adventure. This quality has come from the Adventurers themselves. Yours is a grand moment on this adventure, as it will help define the journey for us all. Thank you for your willingness to place all adventurers where the Adventure works best.
C. The technical details including formatting (spelling, grammar, scientific or historical details), etc.:
Historically, your reprize of the facts are accurate, and timely. Their presence in your writing gives a strong and very useable foundation for all that will follow. You show clear and provable accuracy and use of the historical moments.
D. What I loved about this work, and why:
You began the Adventure by jumping squarely into it. That is truly laudable, and presents a clear and convincing evidence of your personal commitment to complete the 25 days' activities. You give all adventurers a mark, a bar to shoot for that is, while certainly difficult, still more than possible. This will not only help you as you journey with us. It will help us all get into the most important aspects of our short time together.
E. What caused me problems, and why:
It's difficult to (normally) evaluate subjectively such a personal written presentation, yet yours makes such evaluation unnecessary. Your permission to offer a public review is a blessing to everyone on the Adventure. I have no problems with your work: at all! Thank you.
III. FINAL COMMENTS:
This is a great beginning, Lani . I feel your need, and share it. I hope and pray that we may, together find what it is that compels us to journey together again for a time. I am just so grateful to have you with us. Thank you for your excellent work in this first day's writing. I can't wait to see your next offering.
Thank you for this opportunity to review your work. I try to make my Critiques relevant, helpful, honest, and tactful. If there is one item on this review which helps make your writing better, I am satisfied. If you would like to respond to this review, or request another review, please feel free to visit " Invalid Item" . You can request reviews, prayer, or just interact with our group there.
If you have any questions, concerns, or comments about my Critique, or suggestions about how I can be a better reviewer, please do let me know. We are all learning, and growing, and sharing our craft-or at least we should be.
Write well!
M. B. "Bud" Fields, Jr.
Budroe
Adventure Leader
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