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Review of Trouble Brewing  Open in new Window.
Review by Kisaki Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
I love the concept... some of the lines were very funny, and it was good description. I especially liked the last stanza. However, you're rhythm fell apart in some places... or rather, you changed rhtyhms, making some of the stanzas awkward to read.

"A dash of that,
a pinch of this.
Is this brew
supposed to hiss?"

That one especially was off on the last two lines.

And I wasn't quite sure about
"I forgot my instructions,
Oh do hush, cat!"
The thoughts don't really seem to flow together. At least consider a period or a semi-colon for the punctuation. I like the idea for both of them, they don't just seem to fit well together. Another stanza, maybe.

Anyway, nice poem... very good around Halloween. :-7



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