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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kirmakamiskdw
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43 Public Reviews Given
51 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Sailor Moon Quiz  Open in new Window.
Review by Savannah Lynn<3 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Haha I liked this. I would have known the rest, but it's been quite a while since I watched Sailor Moon. Hell, I used to watch the show so much, that my DVDs are all scratched up, and the VHS tapes are rotting away at my grandma's house... I never got to take them back after she died.

Yay! A Sailor Moon Fan! Haha.

XoXo.
~Savannah Lynn*Heart*
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Review by Savannah Lynn<3 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this. It's really cute. It reminds me of what I wish I could have with my dad. I did not see any grammatical or spelling errors. You should keep writing, definitely. I don't know if this was your real story, but you know how to touch people, and that is a gift.


XoXo.
~Savannah.
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Review of Come and See  Open in new Window.
Review by Savannah Lynn<3 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This was a good story. I enjoyed reading it. I found a few things wrong when I read this.

*Flower6*Grammar*Flower6*

His dark eyes beamed into the woods, trees swaying angrily in the storm’s warning, yet Judge did not care that the storm was coming.

I think this is a bit of a run-on sentence. It could work as:

His dark eyes beamed into the woods, trees swaying angrily in the storm's warning. Yet, Judge did not care that the storm was coming.


So here he was, 2 am in the start of one of the seasons worst hurricanes following voices, “God, I’m pathetic.”

"2 am" am should be AM.

"the seasons worst hurricanes" seasons should be season's because it posesses the worst hurricane.

He uttered as he strode of into the trees.

I was confused by this sentence. I think you should delete the "of" but I'm not entirely sure.


His body took over when his mind refused to go further, something pulled him further into the woods, where the dark was all he could see.

I think this is a little bit of a run-on sentence. Maybe something like this:

His body took over when his mind refused to go further. Something pulled him further into the woods, where the dark was all he could see.

There was something there, not to far now, the tugging loosened and Judge regained control over his own legs and feet.

"not to far now} to should be too.

*Flower6*Spelling and others*Flower6*

I saw no other errors than what I wrote before.

I may have been wrong with a few of my tips, but it's what I noticed when I read this. This is a good read though, you are a talented writer.

Keep Writing! *Reading*
*Heart*Savannah*Heart*

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Review of Happiness  Open in new Window.
Review by Savannah Lynn<3 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello. This is Savannah and I would like to say I loved this. You put so much emotion into very few words. You are very talented and I really liked reading your poem.

I saw no errors when reading this. This is absolutely perfect.

I was wondering if you have extra time, if you would review some of my work. I'm 12 and aspiring to be an author someday, and reviews on what I've written in the past year is greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Keep writing!
*Heart*Savannah*Heart*
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Review of Resignation  Open in new Window.
Review by Savannah Lynn<3 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This story was hilarious! I loved reading it the entire time! It made me laugh and brought my day right up.

I saw no errors when I read this and I'm still laughing as I'm rereading this. It's VERY funny.

I was wondering, if you have time, if you would read some of my wrok and tell me what you think. I'm twelve years old and I'm aspiring to be a writer someday, so I would appreciate it if I got some reviews. Thanks!

Keep Writing!
*Heart*Savannah*Heart*
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Review by Savannah Lynn<3 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a good poem. You expressed your emotion well. There were a few grammatical errors such as:

We use to love, should be used.

Also some lines needed the first letter to be capatalized.

I like how you used repitition, but it could've been more powerful with a little less of it.

Overall, though, I really liked it. You captured the subject well and expressed your emotion well.

I was wondering if you could review some of my work. I am twelve years old aspiring to be a writer some day, and I would appreciate it if my work was read. I would greatly appreciate it!

Keep writing! *Reading*
*Heart*Savannah*Heart*
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Review by Savannah Lynn<3 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a really great poem here. I wouldn't say you should edit it at all. Even if a poem didn't fit a certain rhythm, it would still be powerful because of the words the writer described. You did just that here. Some poems are un-powerful *if that's a word* because the writer was too focused on rhyming and structure to get the words out they wanted. You clearly know how to expres your feelings and keep a rhythm at the same time. I admire that in a poet.

If possible, could you read some of my work? I would greatly appreciate a review from someone with so much talent. I am 12 years old and have just finished my first full-length short story, and would appreciate it if I could have some reviews.

You have a great talent, keep writing and keep using it! *Reading*
*Heart*Savannah*Heart*
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Review of The Accused  Open in new Window.
Review by Savannah Lynn<3 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I thought this was a really good story. I enjoyed it the entire time I was reading it. There were a few grammatical and spelling errors that can easily be fixed. I would just say watch where you do and do not put quotation marks, that was the only think i really saw through it, and some capitalization errors. Other than that, this is an amazing story and I would be grateful if you had the time to read a short story I recently wrote. I am 12 and it was my first try at a short story, and I would greatly appreciate a review. Thank you for a great story to read. I'll try to come back and read more later.

Keep writing! *Reading*
*Heart*Savannah*Heart*
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Review by Savannah Lynn<3 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I loved this poem. I haven't seen a poem this good in a long time. Especially since it is a hard topic to write about. To write about anything politcal or having to do with the military is usually easily criticized; I think it would be very hard to criticize this poem. It is the truth, and people are going to have to face it. Not just you or I. Our entire nation has to face that soldier's lives are on the line everyday; just so we can have our freedom. You captured this subject so well that I only have one thing against this. It is only a spelling mistake. In the first stanza, third line, I think the word do is supposed to be so, am I right? I had a great time reading your poem and i look forward to reading more of your works when I have the time.

If your would happen to have extra time on your hands, would you consider rating or reviewing some of my works? i would truly appreciate it. As a young author, I greatly appreciate criticism along with praise. I would to anything to try to make my works better.

Thank you
Keep Writing *Reading*
Savannah

Savannah Lynn<3 Author IconMail Icon
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Review by Savannah Lynn<3 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I had a great time reading this poem.*Star* *Thumbsup* I just had a few grammatical things that seemed to bug me.

*Note1*You have some contractions that need apostrophes.... Some do and some don't.

*Note2*Your I's are lowercased. Sometimes power will come from just the littlest thing like capitalizing the letter "I".*Wink*

Othere than that, I had a great time reading your poem, you captured your subject well. If you would, could you please rate and review some of my works? I would greatly appreciate it.*Bigsmile*

Keep Writing! *Reading*
Savannah
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Review of What is Love?  Open in new Window.
Review by Savannah Lynn<3 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
You are a great writer. The very subject has been what I've been trying to create a poem of. You captured what love truly is in this poem. Many people today are contemplating what love is and you've been able to tell them. I am a young aspiring poet. I was wondering what help and tips you have for a young poet wanting to continue her career in writing. I would truly appreciate tips from you.

Keep Writing!
Savannah
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Review of Close Your Eyes  Open in new Window.
Review by Savannah Lynn<3 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This is a great poem. It's no wonder you placed top ten. I think your poem is a feeling many people go through every day. I know I do. What comments do you have for a young girl aspiring to be a poet? I have been recrafting some of my own poems and I would greatly appreciate help from such a talented poet. Could you please rate and review my poems. I would love it if you would.

Savannah
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Review of Beauty Sleeps  Open in new Window.
Review by Savannah Lynn<3 Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I was very impressed by this sonnet. You are obviously a very talented writer. I was wondering if you have any tips on writing. I am currently trying to recraft some poems i wrote. I saw your sonnet and I was blown away by your ability. What advice do you have for a young girl aspiring to be a poet? If you could i would love it if you could rate and review my poems for me. Thank you so very much!

Savannah
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