I think its a good story but it needs some work. I cant give you gramatical pointers because thats one thing im not so good at. However, out of you two endings i personally like the first better. It was a happy ending and completed the story. The second one wasnt bad but it just didnt seem to fit. As of the story itself, it has an odd trace of poetry in it. I cant describe it, its just... different. But i think if you did a little more work on this story it would be really good.
Yours sincerely,
Well, it took me a week and a half to read it and i want to say, its not to bad. I also entered NaNoWrimo and i finished. I was really excited when i did. I was wondering if you did. I hope you did. On the subject of your story, i cant give you gramatical mistakes because im awful at that. I do want to say however that it is an interesting story. I once wrote for a free write a poem about my cat. Well, let my know if you finished. I have to head to my next class. Bye.
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