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Review of The Invisible Man  Open in new Window.
Review by Bruce Younggreen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This story is delightful! One of the criticisms I frequently encounter levied against my own work is that I use narration too much and need to write with more action. The start of your story sort of triggered some of those thoughts in the reviewing part of my mind as I read, but pushed those thoughts to the back and simply read to be reading. I'm glad that I did that, because now that I've finished, I don't think it is fair to paint every story with the same paintbrush. The first half of the story was necessary to set the stage for the second half. You gave us some beautiful images of Manitau Springs, lifelike and believable glimpses of the ordinary moments that make up life, and you were able to transmit the gentle pathos of connecting with the invisible man and learning that he had always been a connection. I gave you a "5" rating.

Now, I know that a "5" rating means perfection and there is nothing more that I can contribute to your skill and talent, but there is one little niggle that means so little that I don't think it should detract from a "5" rating. I'll mention it nevertheless. In paragraph six you used a "neither...nor" construction. To me, that implies a dichotomy, either of which could be true, but neither of which actually is. However, the two descriptions seemed to me to be two parallel descriptions of the same thing.

Anyway, good on ya! I enjoyed reading your work and, in the end, that is the only thing that matters.
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