This is a nice piece. I can feel the inner turmoil of the longing to hold on yet know it's best to loosen your grip. I feel like you may have more to say. I got the sense that you weren't done with this piece yet. In the last stanza, second sentence I think you mean "out" not "put". Keep writing!
Good Morning Livy203,
This is a beautiful poem. I love poetry and I've never heard anyone make me want to call myself ugly until now. "ugly means your real". It reminds me of a quote from the Velveteen Rabbit
"'It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.”
You summed it up in one line.
There are are some spelling errors, but nothing major. Keep up the great work!
Good Morning Julienwest
Let me first start of by saying that I enjoyed your list on the difference between being a boss and a leader, I don't think many people understand this concept well enough and it causes issues in may area's of life. It was short, simple, and too the point. There were somethings I thought you could change.
In point three you could rephrase the sentence that starts "This is very important," it's too wordy. For example "This is important so that when colleagues are not prepared, the leaders are there to teach and offer support." It get the same meaning across without saying too much.
Great job.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/keithmuaddib
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.10 seconds at 8:42pm on Dec 22, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
