Allison Wonder,
This was a very nice poem. I love how simple it was but complex in the same way. For instance when I started reading it the first four lines left me intrigued as to what you were writing about and it wasn't until the last three sentences you pulled this together nicely. Well Done thank you for sharing
Batty Kiljoy,
This piece of writing was simply amazing. I think you captured the true essence of a readers soul. Like you i search all areas for a next article, book, newspaper, or anything in print to read. I find enjoyment in just about every publication I put in my hands. Absolutely loved this.
Alhagi
I was quite confused reading this. Your sentence structure was not present so it was if your writing was one long sentence. I would have also liked to see a little more detail like:
Where were you sitting when you talked with him over the internet?
Did the weather play a factor on how you felt about this person?
How does it feel to be in a relationship over the internet?
What first attracted you to his profile?
Trishele Walker,
First let me say thank you for sharing. It must have taken a lot of courage to begin writing about your past. Writing is my outlet in life and I am glad to see you in this arena. Stay strong in your fight.
Elisa, Stik, or treat,
You have some good Lyrics here. I struggled a little through the reading as I am sure it would be different with the music. I loved your lines Some things you can't forget even in a mental haze.
You can always call back to your heydays. If you put this in song form how long would the song be?
Mia Anderson,
I liked the description you used in your story. In specific the part of your story with the mother saying her last good by was touching and caused a little watery eyes. For the length your point was defiantly made.
Dear Jen10,
I think you have successfully summed up the critical turning point everyone faces in their search for true friends. Even though it was short I think you nailed it. Great Job love this Poem! I really enjoyed reading it.
Dear Kathy rivers,
The first word that comes to mind after reading your work WOW! I absolutely enjoyed reading your poem. As I was reading your poem I reflected on how many people in my life are facing the same type of struggle. I think your illustration of a person's struggle and the choice they face was very well described. Your ending inspired pride in me as it made me think one more person has chose to fight another day. Very well written and thank you so much for sharing.
Dear Sum1,
What a great poem. I love your transition from the feelings at the beginning of the holiday season as overwhelming and despair to the end with compassion and love. As I read your poem memories were triggered in my mind of thanksgiving and the holidays. Thank you so much for sharing.
Dear Prosperous Snow Globe,
I thought your poem was great. Your writing triggered my mind with some of the little wonderful sights, smells, and scents of Spring. My only critique would be that your poem is in contrast to your title. I was hoping for more descriptions related specifically to the Las Vegas area. Thank you for sharing.
Ken,
What a great poem. Right from the start you had me hooked. Your transition of time as the sun was setting into the activities of exploring was right on point. As I continued to read your ending brought everything home for me and began jogging memories in mad head. Well done!
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kehel362
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.12 seconds at 8:38am on Dec 26, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "