Definitely a simple poem, conveying quite a bit more than most limerick/limerick style poems do. I definitely appreciate the feel you convey - the simplicity adds to the feeling of awakening and conveys the beauty of transitioning from sleep into a dream-like reality. My only critique would be in the meter - you have a great rhythm through most of this piece, with a true-to-form meter. But the third stanza, which breaks away from what you use in the rest of the piece distract a little bit. If this an intentional break from the rest, I think you could easily take the liberty of going a little further from the pattern. Or perhaps you could find another way of bringing weight to what (i feel) has the most powerful language and creative depth. Thank you for writing, very nice to read.
Nice - I love the creativity and style you employed to make your point. I wonder if my arguements would seem as ironic and absurd if i wrote them down...there's a thought! Thanks for providing insight in such a telling way!
Karetha
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