2/5 Rating, it's good but you need to revise this and polish the hell outta your writing skills. im not too good either, but im not gonna sugercoat. not trying to hurt your feelings.
Take the evil away, and all of this is gone, but the "lord" is too lazy to fix what he did, creating that tree and not removing the serpent was our downfall,caused by him, technology is a sin, clothes are a sin, everything man made is sinful because of god's error, we call ourselves sinful and demonic in churches, but it is GOD'S mistake. why didn't he remove the serpent?
write chapter 4, this is getting interesting. A hypo-critical mom who cheats and got caught red-handed by her bunking daughter, great build-up and end it with a bang! :D 100/5 rating!!!
correct, time is the very life force of life itself. however there are other ways it can function, what would you do if you could freeze time just like pausing a movie?. or what if you were immortal?.
wow this was an excellent story and was very creepy & scary, good job and keep writing stuff like this. im giving it a 4.5 rating because it was good, but you have some spelling errors in the story. Either way good and descriptive. have a nice day and try to review some of my items.
wow interesting, sad and scary. You have a good element taste. Well I will send you 5,000 gift points and have a nice day Rae Johnson. ya know what here have 10,000.
oh hey i remember you, whats up tom buck. well i just found your" The Sound" again and have you written anything new?. well have a good day and try to review my new stuff. My username was deleted twice and i had to start over, arggggh it sucked. I have a new portfolio and stuff, so check it out. very funny story you wrote here, goodbye
very good poem, it's a dark creepy poem if im correct. keep writing and i will send you 5,000 gift points. goodbye and try to review my stuff, its okay. Again have a great day and get good reviews goodbye and reply i like chatting with people. and look up these bands, deathstar, celldweller, and katatonia.
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