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1
1
Review of Sacrifice  Open in new Window.
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*RainbowL* THIS IS A ROCKIN REVIEW PACKAGE REVIEW *RainbowR*


*Pencil*Dear A.J Lyle *Pencil*


My name is Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, "Sacrifice" Open in new Window.

*Cat*My first impression of this piece.

I loved how the writer used a different word for what by description is a Werewolf. It gives a new spin to Genre of paranormal that I love. The weaving of paranormal (Changer)and fantasy (fairies) is a combination that very few people do, but in this piece it was very believable and seemed very natural.

Nathaniel is very much still in danger when the writer introduce him to us. Yet he is not panicky or flustered. He shows that he has a level head that helps him to find a way for him to safe his people. What makes it even more delicious is the fact that the writer uses his enemies to tell him what he needs to know.

Loved the way the writer gave me as the reader information without making the story boring or slowing the pace of the story down.

The connection between the fairy Queen and Nathaniel is believable and during their conversation I could almost feel the bond and history between them. The writer makes it even stronger and more visible to the reader by her reaction to Nathaniel's request.

Nathaniel is a very strong character. He cares for others more than himself. He is willing to sacrifice to ensure that other's are safe.



*Cat*Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation

I found no spelling mistakes in this piece. The writer also used grammar and punctuation very well.



*Cat*Some suggestions

You have created a good start in this piece. I was hooked from the first word. Will there be a continuation on this?

Also describing Nathaniel and the Queen's appearance will help me as a reader to enjoy this even further.


This review is only my opinion and I hope that it was helpful to you*Reading*. Thank you for sharing your work with me.

*Heart*Most Importantly: KEEP WRITING!*ThumbsUp**Exclaim*

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2
2
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Central Bank  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Reading*Greetings Creek*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, "The Queen of the Cashew Tree" Open in new Window.

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

I like reading pieces that grab my attention and keeps it, this piece does that for sure. I also loved the way the writer not only gave me as the reader insight into the family dynamics around the girl, her hopes, her current situation but also into her imagination.

The Cashew tree seem to play a central part in her life. It is to her what a castle is to a king, or a fort to a soldier - a place of solace and a place to hide.



*WitchHat* Story Strength:

Her honest emotions that comes through is a great story strength. Her social station at school due to her economic situation is believable and makes the reader feel pity for her. Especially as she sees the butterfly trying to fly away from her. It makes her imaginative kingdom from the Cashew Tree seem a poignant place and endear her to the reader more.

The fact that she knows that the butterfly will die show she is realistic. The fact that she wants to spare it from becoming food to other creatures that can prey on it shows also that she has compassion.

However the fact that she is just "the girl" create a bit of impersonality. If we knew her name it would be even easier to associate with her.

*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

I found no spelling mistakes in this piece. And to my limited experience the grammar and punctuation seems sound.

The fact that the paragraphs has no white space between them makes it a little hard to read as it put strain on the eyes.


*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

This piece seems to me like a prologue to a longer story. The writer left me as reader in suspense on a few things. Will her Father come? Will her wish be granted to her?

This is a very well written piece but I would have liked even more description on the girl and her family. What do they look like?

Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.


*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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3
3
Review of Life's a Circus  Open in new Window.
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Reading*Greetings Mage*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, "Life's a Circus" Open in new Window.

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

You have combined fantasy and urban legendary in a awesome story.




*WitchHat* Story Strength:

You have combined not genres but also different fantasy species into a "family". The interaction among them make for interesting reading. You build up the action and tension and hook the reader. And the little bit of humor is a nice touch.

This was my favorite line in the story: "I really wanted to leave my particular family at home on this one, but it was the circus - its not like you can keep a secret in my family."

*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

I found no grammar, spelling or punctuation mistakes in this piece.


*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

Is this part of a larger work?





Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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4
4
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Reading*Greetings Mari WaitingForChristmas*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, "Seeing, Hearing, Believing" Open in new Window.

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:
Loved the way you approached a very serious disorder.





*WitchHat* Story Strength:

You have captured the confusion and inner struggle people with MPD and SPD deal with daily and constantly. The tension the personalities cause and battle among each other with is portrayed in a way that the reader understand. Using dialog is a great way to present this story to the reader.


*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

I found no mistakes in this piece.



*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

This was a very thought provoking piece.





Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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5
5
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*Reading*Greetings CerAnaka*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, "The Daughter of Black, Part One" Open in new Window.

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

I am a Sirius Black fan and loved the fact that you invented a daughter for him.




*WitchHat* Story Strength:

You brought something new - Skylar Black into a familiar and loved world. You gave us a measure of her character by her actions in this piece and I'm quiet interested how this develop. You have mystery in this piece and I really think it is a good start to a story.



*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

I found no mistakes in this piece


*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

You left me as a reader curious to what would happen next.





Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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6
6
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Reading*Greetings Kirsten*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, "Life, Love & Everything" Open in new Window.

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

This was a thought provoking and amusing essay.




*WitchHat* Story Strength:

Though I might not agree with all the writer's views it is clear that this essay was well thought out and that the writer has put a lot of time and effort in writing it.



*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

I found no mistakes in this piece.



*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

This piece remind me of a very well written article.





Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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7
7
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Reading*Greetings Paige Brann*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, "How much do you hide, my dear?" Open in new Window.

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

Wow! This was a piece that made me cry. This piece has hope to it.
I liked that there were not condemnation for self harm but rather the writer was pointing to a way out.



*WitchHat* Story Strength:

It seems like the writer knows the feelings that churn like sharks on the inside of those that self harm.



*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

I found no mistakes.



*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

Thank you for a thought provoking piece.




Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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8
8
Review of The Hollow Keys  Open in new Window.
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Reading*Greetings Early-buried in finals*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work,

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

For the fact that this story made me look around my study in unease I rate it a 4. The writer used suspense and imagery very well.




*WitchHat* Story Strength:

In essence it is a simple story but the writer used it very well in this story to create horror.The monastery being in the state it is is creepy. The girl he meet heightens that feeling and blows into full horror when she told him what she wants him to do. And what he sees when he creeps back will make this horror fan for one, sleep uneasily. This is a very successful horror story.



*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

I found no mistakes.



*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

I can see potential for a much larger work in this.





Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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9
9
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Reading*Greetings Shannon*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, "The Legend of Uriah Johnson" Open in new Window.

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

It had a 60 feel to it. Also I loved the fact that the horror in this was so subtle.




*WitchHat* Story Strength:

Your characters were very believable. There is a revenge theme underneath and the fact that a child ghost lead a seventeen around spoke volumes of the main character's maturity.



*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

I found no mistakes



*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

This was very well written. Great horror.





Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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10
10
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Reading*Greetings Simple Dykie *Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, "My Journey to Grumpiness" Open in new Window.

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

I liked the way you gave grumpy old men's bad qualities that scare us all yet point out their good qualities that make them unmistakable members of our communities.



*WitchHat* Story Strength:
In my humble opinion the strength in this story is the way the writer reminicent on grumpy old men he knew and about his own experience of growing older.

This is my favorite line in this story: "Funny thing is I remember him differently."

*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

I found no mistakes.



*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

I found this a humorous piece, yet it made me think.





Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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11
11
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Reading*Greetings LCVarnum*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work,

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

This was short, but very well written. You definitely have grabbed the reader from the first sentence.




*WitchHat* Story Strength:

You have a lot of tension in this piece and it makes this a great horror story. The fact that you don't tell the reader what this creature is gives it an air of mystery and heighten the terror. Your description of the surroundings and the corpse makes the suspense even greater.



*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

I could find no mistakes that speaks of great editing by the writer.



*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

In my humble opinion this can easily be a great prologue to a story or part of a larger story.





Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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12
12
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Reading*Greetings JustMe5*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, "The Rememberless Nights: Anonymous Diary" Open in new Window.

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

First of all was the title. It grabbed me and made me curious to see more.
Secondly you created enough suspense and intrigue in the little bit you wrote so far to keep me reading.




*WitchHat* Story Strength:

If this is a teaser of what you plan to do with this story... well lets say you have3 a good basis here. You created in me as reader a curiosity. How did this person get into this situation? Who is this person? Who are the ones watching through the camera? Why are they watching? What type of creature,(though by what you wrote and said so far I think its a vampire), is this person? This is a good captivating start and I would love to see how you build on this. As I read this I could see a lot of stories (or paths) this can go and I would love to see which path you as creator take.



*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

Your use of grammar is good and I could also not find fault in Spelling nor in your use of punctuation.



*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

Please let me know when you add to this as I would love to review this for you. You have a great start and I can't wait to see what happens next.





Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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13
13
Review of Chapter 1  Open in new Window.
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Reading*Greetings Janelle Sian*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, "Chapter 1" Open in new Window.

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

I liked the multi facet view you give the reader of Shenna. It is not just the single almost carbon copy view most writers present Vampire characters in. The prey she hunt is also different to the normal, doe eyed helpless prey.




*WitchHat* Story Strength:

Opening this story with a Diary entry you bring the reader into Shenna's heart and mind. It shows a vulnerability after looking back on her life and capture those things she miss about being mortal.

The next view we have of her is that of the huntress. You show off her skill and ability. Also that in spite of what she write in her diary, she didn't just fall into the trap of looking for weak prey.

I find her choice of prey interesting. He is himself a hunter, a hunter of the weak and vulnerable. He is like his prey human, mortal, yet hunt - hunt for the sick joy to create fear, to hurt, maim and to kill. Shenna kill to survive. She does not do it for pleasure nor to entertain herself.

The prey soon find out how very wrong he is. You have a great mix of suspense in this chapter. It is in my humble view a good way to introduce Shenna and open a book.

You lay a foundation that is not too informative to give your whole plot away but enough to hook your reader and make them want to read further.



*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

You have a few spelling and grammar mistakes. I have found that reading what you write out loud helps with that.



*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

This is a good beginning to a story and I will be honored to review further updates to this story for you.





Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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14
14
Review of Fallacy  Open in new Window.
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Reading*Greetings Yil*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, "Fallacy" Open in new Window.

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

I liked the fact that the simple barmaid turned out to be the princess.





*WitchHat* Story Strength:

At first one thought the story was about the Vampire Barb. The reader is like barb unaware how the princess manipulate the situation to safe her father.



*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

I found no mistakes.



*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

This will work well for a prologue to a story.




Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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15
15
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Reading*Greetings Max*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, "Dead Man's Jacket (Chapter 1)" Open in new Window.

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

I liked the twist and turns in this story and the humorous way it was started.




*WitchHat* Story Strength:

The plot was well thought out. And the way the story start shows Danny's confusion. I liked how using back flashes to the past you used to tell us how Jen met Danny. Also where the robbers came into the story.



*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

You have some spelling mistakes.



*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:
This could easily be part of a larger story.





Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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16
16
Review of The Last Kiss  Open in new Window.
for entry "Prologue" Open in new Window.
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Reading*Greetings Haven Rich*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, "The Last Kiss" Open in new Window.

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

The dealer seems very interesting Here are a few of the things I liked.
"Cocky in his hand, the dealer raised his bid, and the drunk matched it."
"He could sense the fear in his prey."
"The dealer had played games like this before, why should now be different."



*WitchHat* Story Strength:

In this prologue you succeed in hooking the reader and creating suspense and intrigue who the dealer is.



*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

I could find no mistakes.




*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

This is an excellent prologue. It is very well written.





Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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17
17
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Reading*Greetings QX~Brenton*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, "Old woman (for now)" Open in new Window.

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

I liked the path you took with old Lady in the shoe - the story you came up with was amazing.




*WitchHat* Story Strength:

The fact that you put background detail to the color blue wore by wanderers
and the splitting of Geraldine's soul on finding her parents gone and her using the book and the horror of the fact that she opened an orphanage to regain and heal her soul shows your versatility as a writer. You used fantasy, horror and supernatural genre in this one story. And the fact that Geraldine is telling this story is pure genius


*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

I found no mistakes



*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

Will this be part of a larger story? If so I'd gladly review it.




Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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18
18
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
*Reading*Greetings Princess Megan Bella Rose*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, " Witch Princess and a Vampire" Open in new Window.

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

I loved that you put the two supernatural kinds I really like together - witches and Vampires. I also loved how you didn't portray Dracula as the general evil Lord of the night. Also that the two families could overcome the grudge Farah's mother had against Dracula. Also that your Vampires did not need to drink blood to survive. Adding the pictures was a very nice touch.




*WitchHat* Story Strength:

You have a generous amount of romance in your story and as well used but very affective recipe of forbidden love with obstacles in the way and a believable solution.


*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

There was no mistakes in this piece. Very well written.



*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

This could be the starting point for many stories.





Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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19
19
Review of Kindred Part 2  Open in new Window.
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Reading*Greetings EyeSingOnTheCake*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, "Kindred Part 2" Open in new Window.

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

The fact that in this story Vampires are not dead.




*WitchHat* Story Strength:
You did not disapoint with this chapter. The nicest part is the way you twisted the myth about Vampires.




*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

I found no mistakes.


*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

I would love to review any further chapters to this story.






Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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20
20
Review of Kindred Part 1  Open in new Window.
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Reading*Greetings EyeSingOnTheCake*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, "Kindred Part 1" Open in new Window.

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

I like Kani, she is the type of girl that has that like able personality that don't know that they special.




*WitchHat* Story Strength:

Kani's friends use the age old method of getting a friend out of her rut- go to the movies. On the way back home they get attacked. The suspense in the story kept me captivated. Kani is saved by someone she did not expect to see. I also loved the fact that Oyoko and Brice spoke in her native tongue.


*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

I found no spelling, and no grammar or punctuation mistakes in the story.



*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

This is a very good intro into the story and you have this reader waiting to see what follows.





Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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21
21
Review of A Story Overheard  Open in new Window.
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Reading*Greetings MrsKugel*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, "A Story Overheard" Open in new Window.

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

I liked the comedy spin you gave to this. Firstly the thought of a Vampire with a disability is hilarious, even more so if they allergic to blood.




*WitchHat* Story Strength:

I liked the fact that your vampires had to resort to drinking bagged blood. It give a new outlook on a mythological monster.



*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

I could find no mistakes



*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

Is there anymore written about these characters?





Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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22
22
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Reading*Greetings Yusuf*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, ""My Parents Aren't Home"" Open in new Window.

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

*Laugh**Laugh**Laugh**Laugh* I found this absolutely funny.




*WitchHat* Story Strength:

There is a saying: Children say the first thing on their mind. This is certainly true of Johnny. The poor police officer could not get much said. By what Johnny say to the cop we get a rare glimpse into his household through the total innocent yet blatant truthful eyes of a child living there.



*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:
I found no mistakes.



*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

This could easily be part of a larger piece. And if one is down, tired or sad and need a pick-me-up this piece will put a smile on your face.





Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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23
23
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Reading*Greetings (User name}*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, "Dhampir; Black Blood" Open in new Window.

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

Shara might be part Vampire but she was not a monster. This is quite a different image to the arrogant one a lot of people paint Vampires in.




*WitchHat* Story Strength:

Shara is a strong character and you pace the story well. Also you build up sympathy for Shara and suspense.



*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

The lack of miostakes made this a joy to read.



*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

Is there more to follow? If so I would love to review it for you.




Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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24
24
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Reading*Greetings MarkLewis is working?*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, "I WAS CALLED PRINCESS BY THE SCHOOL IDOL" Open in new Window.

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

I liked the twist at the end.




*WitchHat* Story Strength:

Your story had the necessary pace, suspense and tension to keep my attention. And I loved the way you made me believe Marvyn was a girl.



*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

No mistakes. This was very well written.



*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

Loved the twist at the end.





Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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25
25
Review of Return of Cain  Open in new Window.
Review by Kayna-amy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Reading*Greetings Wenston*Reading*

I'm Amy and I had the pleasure to review your work, "Return of Cain" Open in new Window.

*WitchHat* What I liked about this piece:

I liked how you took obscure pieces in the bible and created a backdrop to this story. Amazingly done.




*WitchHat* Story Strength:

I find that you used myth and fact well to create a believable setting and a strong character. And I find the idea of God using the father of all Vampire's a genius stroke.


*WitchHat* Spelling/grammar/punctuation:

I found no mistakes.




*WitchHat* Some suggestions I'd like to make:

Is there more to follow?





Thank you for sharing your work with me*BigSmile*. I hope that you will find this review helpful.

*YinYang*Most importantly:KEEP WRITING!*YinYang*

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