oh wow this is really good!! it's very rare that a rhyming poem gets accross the story and the emotions that yours did, very well thought through and the same high standard all the way through, because sometimes you get a few stanzas that aren't quite as good, but i couldn't find one in this :)
this is a really good heart warming story with a really convincing portrayal of emotions. I think you've struck just the right balance of playing on your readers emotions, it's subtle and not too in your face, but it's still enough to pull at your heart strings. Beautiful, well done :)
This is really great, especally the last 3 stanzas. Se things I wasn't sure about
1)fantasy would turned to reality,
Maybe fantasy would turn to reality, or has turned? (unless it was deliberate in which case ignor me!)
2) flowers that didn't bloomed,
Maybe flowers that didn't bloom, or never bloomed.
But that's just nit picking because it is a really god empathetic poem. Well done :)
this is brilliant!! i literally couldn't scroll down fast enough! you have a good thick plot with convincing characters and an awesome ending! loved it
this is a really lovely idea and a really good story. You've got a good developing narrative voice but the tone does get lost at some points, but that would be my only criticism. It was really good, i think i might go read it again! :)
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