\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jprofit
Review Requests: OFF
2 Public Reviews Given
2 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Jocelyn P Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
The Positive:
I felt that the characters were real people: they have wants and desires. There is definitely the hint of a conflict and I think that it could make for good drama.

The Negative:
While Adam felt like a real person, he didn't feel like a boy. I would suggest going over his thoughts and words and add a little more masculinity. Him checking out her curves might not be enough on its own.

Good job overall!

Jocelyn P
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jprofit