I have enjoyed reading what you believe. You have experienced a good bit of life to develop these ideals.
I gave you a 4.5 rating because you have several misspelled words.Remember to use the spell check button and keep writing every single day. Enjoy your journey!!
I really enjoyed reading your story.Though I was not familiar with computers to the degree that you were,I do remember that they were dinosaurs compared to what we enjoy today.
I plan to read more of what you have written and I hope your future days are enjoyable.
Writing out your feelings of frustration seems to be very cathartic. But I think your description of what you did first,hitting the brick, would have looked good at the beginning then follow with your paragraph two and then follow with your lead statement.
Try that and see what you think.
In your times of writing,let that be your fist and brick and perhaps help someone who feels like you do when you are really frustrated.
I have heard this quote:" Always wanting what you can't have,always having what you don't want." somewhere, but I don't remember where. I remember liking the quote very much.
I very much like your perspective on self-centeredness---having not thought of it before,I want to remember it. Happiness aside, perhaps contentment would be a worthy goal.
Hope you keep writing and tickling my desire for new perspectives.
The subject matter of your story has promise and I think needed in a world such as ours that needs to pull back the reigns of worshiping external beauty,not only for the well being of the object of beauty and for the well being of the worshipers of beauty but for a sharper vision of what is wholesome and lasting with integrity and kindness towards all.
I would like to see you begin the story from the vantage point of (When fear rules) and take more time to develop your story.
Slow down and notice places such as Paragraph 2 where you wrote "they gain, the child was gaining" think how you might word that and fill the story out at a slower pace.
Continue to follow your desire to write and enjoy your day
I love the way you are able to express how your pain is wearing you down and you are able to express your frustrated desire for the absence of the pain and explore ways that it might be achieved and then you are able to express that your children need you and want you in their lives and you are willing to be responsible to and for them and you have the humility to ask for help so that you can love them and help them and yourself.
I really enjoyed reading your poem because I can see your heart that will not let despair have the last word of the day. I love your description of moon light in the word glimmer and how you let it light a reflective candle in your heart.
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